The Dactylic Hexameter
by PrincessButtercup83
Summary: Sheldon and Penny are friends. Right?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, so don't sue me. Seriously, you won't get a thing.

Penny knotted her hair hastily on top of her head as she ambled down the hallway and into the kitchen. Sheldon glanced up from his spot at the counter before dropping his head back quickly to his work. Penny thought for one moment about simply turning on the spot and slinking back into Leonard's room and sitting on his bed to wait for him to get done in the shower before venturing back into the kitchen. Shaking herself, she instead moved forward, coming to rest at the end of the island.

"Hey," she said overly brightly.

"Good morning," he answered in a somewhat brittle tone. Penny felt her smile freeze on her face.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked, choosing to ignore his demeanor.

"It's Friday," he responded quietly. "Friday morning, I make omelets." Indeed, he was meticulously dicing perfect cubes of green peppers as he spoke. Penny noticed a small ruler laying next to his cutting board and had to close her eyes to keep them from rolling violently up into her head.

"Can I have one?" Penny asked as she came around the corner to stand shoulder to bicep with him.

"We don't have enough eggs," he replied flatly, keeping his eyes focused on his chopping. Penny reached out quickly and plucked a perfectly square piece of pepper. Sheldon tapped the tip of his knife against the cutting board, inches away from her fingers. She started slightly before glancing up at him in shock. He was giving her a look out of the corner of his eye, a small smirk on his face. Penny grinned widely at him for a moment. She made a big show of slowly reaching for another one, her eyes never leaving his face. He rolled his eyes away, sighing.

Penny chewed slowly, watching him carefully. He kept his head down, clearly concentrating on his dicing. "Can I ask you something?" she asked, inclining her head up toward him.

He paused in his work, staring straight ahead. "I suppose," he finally answered.

She turned her body, standing perpendicular to him. "What's with the attitude lately?"

Sheldon frowned and swiveled his head in her direction. "To what are you referring?"

"I mean," Penny sighed, crossing her arms over her chest, "that ever since you came back from the North Pole, you've been treating me and Leonard differently."

"In what way?"

"You're being a jerk." Sheldon continued his perfect chopping. She stepped toward him, so his right arm was just barely brushed against her breast. "Leonard is your best friend," she said in a low voice. Sheldon scoffed. "Don't you think you could be, like, kind of supportive of him?"

"I've been against this union from the beginning," Sheldon said by way of response.

"Yeah, why is that?" she asked cheekily.

"I've known Leonard long enough to be able to perceive his less than stellar character traits, and although I've only known you a couple years, feel I have ascertained yours as well." He gave her a sidelong glance.

Penny raised her eyebrows in anticipation. When he didn't answer, she finally prompted him. "And?"

"And the chemical response you two create in each other is in contrast with your normal impulses." Penny narrowed her eyes at him. He rolled his own eyes in response. "You bring out the worst in each other." Penny ground her teeth loudly.

"In what way?" she sighed.

His knife didn't stop its slow, even movements. "I find him stooping to subterfuge on a regular basis," Sheldon responded haltingly. "It's also well established that you need a certain blood alcohol level to engage in any sort of physical activity with Leonard."

"You think I have to be hammered to sleep with him."

Sheldon paused, "Yes."

Penny resisted the urge to wring his neck. "Okay." She cleared her throat. "Even if you think Leonard and I shouldn't be a couple….why are you acting like….." She wasn't sure how to end that sentence.

"Like what?" he asked, feigning interest.

"Like we're all of a sudden not friends."

Sheldon kept his eyes trained on his cutting board. "We're not," he finally responded.

Penny felt irritation seeping into her quickly and she scowled at him. "What's that supposed to mean? Of course we are!" She picked up another small cube of pepper just to spite him and watched his jaw grow tense.

"No," he retorted slowly, as if talking to a small child. "You are now Leonard's girlfriend."

"And I can't be both?"

Sheldon looked over at her as if her hair was on fire. "That's preposterous." She narrowed her eyes dangerously at him. He gently set his knife down and turned more fully toward her. "Shortly after our return to California, at roughly the same time as my entire professional life was falling apart, you chose to enter into an ill-advised romantic relationship with my roommate."

"Okay," Penny cut him off. "First of all, don't make it sound like I heard you were on a train to Texas and decided to jump Leonard's bones."

"Wasn't that the correct order of events?" he shot back, one eyebrow raised in challenge.

"No," she answered firmly. Sheldon stared at her until she started feeling uncomfortable. She coughed and shifted her weight.

"Either way," Sheldon continued. "It seems perfectly logical that once your entanglement with Leonard comes to its inevitable end, you will no longer have any interest in maintaining a friendship with any of us."

"That isn't logical," Penny answered weakly.

"Of course it is," Sheldon replied. "You come across the hall not as our neighbor and friend, but as Leonard's girlfriend."

He stepped past her to the fridge, pulling out a carton of eggs. She watched him, his work quick and efficient. His clear and definite movements exposed a long-standing routine of doing this very thing every Friday morning. Penny opening the fridge and pulled out the carton of milk. Feeling Sheldon's eyes on her, she strained upward, selecting the box of 'Frosted Mini Bites' from the low fiber end. She felt the over-sized 'Batman' tee she was wearing ride up the back of her thighs, but was suddenly feeling strangely defiant. Armed with her box of cereal, Penny spun around to face Sheldon, who was staring at her evenly as he whisked a small bowl of eggs.

"What? You said there wasn't enough for me." She smirked at him before grabbing a bowl.

"That's my cereal," he noted crossly, his forearm muscles visibly cording from the exertion of stirring.

"Yes, but we both know that you won't physically come over here and take it from me," Penny answered as she filled his favorite bowl with cereal. "You'll wait and complain to Leonard." She poured his milk over it liberally. "And we both know who he'll side with on this." She dug into it and stuck an obnoxiously large spoonful in her mouth. "After all, I am his girlfriend," she finished, her mouth full. Penny wasn't totally sure where this sudden urge to push him had come from, but she was actually enjoying it. Somewhere deep inside, she was sure it was wrong to do this to him. At the moment however, Penny didn't care.

Sheldon glared at her before brushing past her again to retrieve the small frying pan from above the sink. She chewed as loudly as she could, trying to get that muscle in his right cheek to twitch. He had already clearly tuned her out however, his complete concentration on his task. He kept his back stiff, standing as rigidly as possible. Penny felt his cereal stick in her throat. Sighing, she put down the bowl and crossed over to where his neat pile of vegetables sat on the small cutting board. She picked it up and carried it over to where he stood at the stove. She watched him closely for several moments, not making a sound. When he finally looked at her out of the corner of his eye, Penny felt herself relax.

"We are friends, Sheldon." She said it quietly, steadily. His adam's apple bobbed. "So, could you please just take it down a notch?" He said nothing, merely blinked.

"Hey guys," Leonard announced, his voice halting as he came into the room. Penny stepped back from Sheldon without thinking about it and picked up her bowl again. "What are you eating?"

"There aren't enough eggs for me to participate in omelet day," the blonde replied, glancing over her shoulder at the tall physicist. He was sliding his breakfast onto a plate.

"Leonard," Sheldon intoned as he salted his omelet. "As it has been pointed out to me, I have no intention of physically stopping this myself, but would you inform you girlfriend that if she insists on sleeping here and putting on a shirt in the morning, that it should be one of your shirts and not mine?" With that, he slipped between them and strode to his spot, sitting primly before cutting into his eggs.

Penny choked on a mouthful of cereal.


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't believe we're watching this entire thing." Penny whined, throwing her head back against the couch. "It's so long."

"Excuse me, but I believe we watched the 'Harry Potter' series in its entirety last weekend, which is three times the length of this," Sheldon shot back acidly.

Penny turned her head to the side, seeking out her boyfriend's assistance in dealing with his impossible roommate once again. She needn't bother, however. Leonard was currently riveted to the television, on which Samwise was currently returning the ring to Frodo upon their reunion. She rotated to face Sheldon, who sat rigidly to her left. "So, which one of them is the 'Green Lantern' now?" His eyes slowly moved from the screen to meet her gaze. He stared at her blankly for several moments. "That was a joke," Penny explained flatly. "See, 'cause Frodo had the ring, and then Sam had the ring, and now Frodo has it again."

Rather than exhaling out his strange giggle, Sheldon simply continued to stare at her. "I'm going to retire to my bedroom, where it's quiet," he announced, standing and stalking off down the hallway. Penny's eyes followed him until he disappeared around the corner before turning her attention back to the movie.

"Why won't you leave him alone?" Leonard asked, not bothering to look at her.

Penny shrugged her shoulders and burrowed farther into the couch cushion. "The other day he said that if we broke up, I wouldn't still be friends with him or Howard or Raj." She looked over at him beseechingly. "Do you think that's true?" Leonard nodded passively, his eyes still on the hobbits. "Hey," she said as she leaned forward to pause the DVD player. "Are you even listening to me?"

"What? " He turned his body toward her, pulling a knew up onto the cushion between them. "Yes, of course I was listening. But," he paused, choosing his words carefully. "He's…he's not wrong, Penny."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, offended.

Leonard sighed, clearly not excited for where this conversation was going. Penny simply stared at her boyfriend with eyebrows raised in anticipation. "Well, it's just that…I mean, I don't think we have any intention of breaking up…..?" He asked leadingly. Penny shook her head. "…but, if we did, can you honestly say you would have any urge to come over here again?"

Penny felt a coil of defensive energy tighten in her belly, but tried to ignore it. How could he possibly think that he was the only reason she would ever want to be here? That he was the only reason she had ever come over in the first place? "Why wouldn't I?" she merely asked, curbing her sudden desire to punch him in the throat.

"Um," Leonard responded slowly. "Because Sheldon annoys you and Howard creeps you out and Raj can't actually talk to you?" He said it in a tone Penny was sure came from years of living with Sheldon, who couldn't pick up on sarcasm in someone's tone. But Penny wasn't Sheldon, she wasn't even close.

"First of all, I think Raj is on the edge of a breakthrough involving the whole talking to me thing," she defended the Indian doctor. "And Howard acting like a pig is an act that he puts on for your benefit as much as mine." She rose from the couch and made her way to the fridge to pull out a bottle of beer. She knocked the cap off on the kitchen counter before taking a long sip.

Leonard looked at her skeptically. "And now you're going to tell me Sheldon doesn't really annoy you, it's just his way of flirting?" He chuckled and un-paused the DVD. Penny knew he was no longer paying attention to her, but she still suddenly felt very conscious of her body language. She put the bottle down on the counter in front of her and crossed her arms over her chest. Her urge to march across the apartment and smack Leonard hard on the back of his head was strong, but she abstained. She knew he was being flippant and trying to joke away the entire conversation, but she couldn't just accept that answer. Was that really how they all saw her? As a fickle girl who was only spending time with them to acquire a boyfriend? How could Leonard of all people not believe that she liked them for who they were, when he himself was best friends with all of them?

"We're not done talking about this," she spoke up and watched him turn toward her with raised eyebrows. He hit stop on the remote, leaving the square screen saver bouncing happily from corner to almost-corner.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say," he finally said. He climbed off the couch and walked toward her. "Do I think that you could continue to be friends with any of us if you and I chose to dissolve our relationship? No, I don't." Penny frowned at him before taking another drink. "But that doesn't make you a bad person." She could tell he was trying to think of his phrasing again. "Sheldon is unfortunately really good at being tactless. It's the only human emotional response he seems to understand. He probably didn't even mean anything by it, though. Don't let it bother you."

As if him saying that would make it so. Before Penny could utter a rebuttal, the door swung open and Howard and Raj entered, the former holding the 'Star Wars' edition of Risk under his arm. "It's on!" Howard announced, holding the game up in front of him. "Where's Sheldon?"

Penny watched Leonard steal a glance at her before turning back to the other two men. "He's…currently being…psychotic again."

"I scared him away," Penny spoke up impassively, swallowing the last of her beer.

"Oh," Howard answered, looking slightly crestfallen. He looked at the game in his hands and then over at Raj, who simply shrugged. "We won't have even teams then," he finally stated to Leonard.

"What do you mean?" Penny asked, walking toward them.

"Well," Leonard started, looking at her. "We always play Sheldon and Raj against Howard and I."

"We're the Republic," Howard supplied, stepping forward.

"And now you can't play?" Penny asked, returning to the kitchen and opening the fridge.

"Not really," Leonard answered. Penny pretended to think it over as she reached in and pulled out a second beer.

"I can play," she said firmly.

Leonard cocked his head to the side and stared. "Um…."

"You can?" Howard asked.

Penny looked between the three of them before handing Raj a newly opened beer. " I'm going to be a Separatist." She glanced over at Raj, who was swallowing quickly. "It's on boys."


	3. Chapter 3

Penny reached up to rub her eye tiredly, depositing a dusting of flour on her face in the process. "Maybe this was a bad idea," she stated in a dull voice.

Sheldon turned to look at her with raised eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"I can't cook, Sheldon."

"Yes, I know," he answered, turning his back to her and continuing with his stirring. "That is why you asked for my assistance."

She stepped around her island to face him. "I didn't actually ask for your assistance, you know. I said 'I'm going to bake a cake for Raj's birthday', and you said 'you don't bake, though' and decided I needed your amazing cooking expertise." She watched the way he neatly poured the batter into the waiting greased pan. "How is it you know how to do everything, anyway?"

He looked at her somewhat bashfully. "My meemaw taught me how to cook when I was little."

Penny couldn't stop the grin from coming to her face. "That is so cute," she squeaked out. Sheldon rolled his eyes at her before turning and placing the pan in the heated oven.

"Yes, well it's much cuter when you don't know of Jimmy Durden and his affinity for throwing balloons filled with his own urine at me every time I stepped outside." He picked up a dishrag and started wiping down her countertop. Penny watched him silently for a moment as he busied himself with returning to cocoa to its shelf and placing the eggs back in the fridge. "He used to call me 'Smelly Cooper'. Penny swallowed the soft chuckle that threatened to escape her throat. "Which, I guess after being hit with pee balloons was a true enough moniker." He turned his back to her again and turned on the faucet to start washing dishes.

"Oh Sheldon, honey don't worry about doing the dishes. I'll do them later." He turned around and looked at her as if she'd lost her mind.

"You know that if I leave this apartment with these dishes still dirty, I will do nothing but worry about them." He put his head down and started scrubbing and rinsing. Penny continued to put away the various baking supplies that were strewn across her countertop. After capping the vanilla and putting it in the cupboard, she ambled over to the draining rack, now almost full of clean dishes.

"So, where did 'Sheldon' come from anyway?" she asked as she bent to retrieve a clean towel from the drawer. He gave her an odd look. "The name," she clarified.

"My grandfather," he answered distractedly as he meticulously cleaned her wire whisk. "My father's father was Sheldon Cooper."

"So, you're Sheldon the second," Penny noted as she picked up a large mixing bowl. Looking at it, she thought it might actually be cleaner than the day she bought it.

"Different middle names," Sheldon corrected, shaking his head. "You can only be referred to as a 'second' or 'third' if the name is the exact same. His middle name was James, as mine is Lee." He held the whisk up for closer examination. "I think there is still food on here from the last time you used it for something."

"Oh," was all Penny could answer. She would never get over the amount of knowledge hurled at her every time Sheldon opened his mouth. It was like being in school. She had never liked school on a whole, but for some reason when it came out of Sheldon, it felt different.

"So, how did your parents arrive at the name Penelope?" Penny blinked at him, confused for a moment. Was he really trying to converse about something that didn't involve him?

"Uh, I- my mom is a teacher." Penny picked up a spatula and dried it. "She teaches high school English back in Nebraska, which I used to think was the worst thing ever, but now is actually pretty cool." It was true that at the time she'd had her own mother as her teacher, she'd wanted to rip her arm off and beat herself with it. "Anyway, she really loves Homer, and so all of us-"

"-are named after characters from 'The Odyssey'?" Sheldon finished for her, his face full of surprise.

"You know 'The Odyssey'?" Penny asked, her mouth quirked up on one side.

"'The Odyssey', an epic Greek poem written by Homer. Twelve thousand, one hundred and ten lines, all written in dactylic hexameter. It tells of Odysseus's journey home after the fall of Troy." The words spilled ridiculously easily from the tall man's mouth, as if he'd been waiting to say them and simply needed the correct prompt.

"So…yes?" Penny asked sarcastically. "My sister's given name is Calypso, and my brother's is Telemachus. They go by Callie and T.J. of course." She sighed and turned toward Sheldon. "We maintain to this day that she just didn't want to give us a chance at a normal life." The physicist was looking at her with a furrowed brow. "What?"

"It's just that the character of Penelope is known for her faithfulness. In fact, in the poem Penelope ignores scores of suitors in favor of pretending to finish a tapestry, when in actuality she is merely waiting for her true love to come to her." He gave Penny a significant look before returning to his washing.

"I'm sorry," Penny said through clenched teeth. "Did you really just manage to be a literary snob and call me easy at the same time?"

"Hardly," Sheldon scoffed. "Furthermore, there is no way your mother could have known you would not hold the same virtues as your namesake. Is your sister a water nymph?" Penny stared at him open-mouthed. "I shouldn't think so."

"Conversations with you make my head hurt," Penny stated, sighing.

"It could just be problems with your sinuses, as you routinely get during these months of the year." He continued washing, his shoulder hunched down toward the beaters from the mixer. "In either regard, I suggest taking an over the counter pain reliever-" He paused and looked over at her, before adding, "aspirin".

She smiled sarcastically at him before retorting, "Thanks".

"Anytime," he answered with a small smile, missing her tone entirely. Not that it surprised Penny in the least. Sheldon was an odd sort of creature, she had decided. Alternately sweet and psychotic, the way he responded to certain situations continually astounded her. There was a naivety to him, which Penny supposed came from a certain amount of emotional stunting in his childhood. But it was the sweetness, the genuine caring she saw coming from him at times that floored her. Sheldon showed an alarming amount of depth for someone whose friends largely considered him to be a robot.

"So, what do you want to do after the cake comes out of the oven?" she asked, turning one hundred and eighty degrees to lean her back against the counter. Sheldon raised one eyebrow at her. "What?"

"Why would we continue to spend any time together after our baking excursion is finished?" he asked, perplexed.

"Because we're bonding?" She hung her towel over the handle of the oven. She shrugged before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh," he nodded as he rinsed the sink out, all the dishes clean. "You're still insisting on attempting to maintain a so-called 'friendship' with me?"

Penny frowned at him silently. "I'm capable of being your friend, Sheldon." He laughed humorlessly. "Come on, we could go to a movie. There's a thing where people look at goats that just opened."

"What is it about?" he asked.

She ginned. "It's about Clooney and McGregor."

"Is it possible," the physicist questioned as he started folding clothes she had scattered across the back of her couch, "that your need to prove me wrong in some way eclipses your wish to actually befriend any of us?"

"No," Penny answered quickly.

"I see," Sheldon responded sarcastically, his voice giving off the tiniest hint of a southern twang. "So your playing laser tag with Howard the other day simply comes from a strong desire to spend time with him?"

She gritted her teeth. "Yes." He smiled somewhat evily in response. "Why do you think it's not a valid point that I feel the need to get closer to my boyfriend's friends?" She was on the verge of climbing onto the couch so she would be at a sufficient height to throttle the physicist. The expression on his face stopped her in her tracks, however. Anything that had been soft a moment ago was now hard, stoic.

"Penny, I'm going to make this simple for you, as I know you are at a lower perceived level of intelligence than I." He linked his hands behind his back and stepped ever so slightly toward her. "I have absolutely no intention of ever being your friend, Penelope."

The silence hung heavy in the air. Penny felt something welling up inside of her and was thankful when the oven timer dinged, giving her an excuse to turn her back to him. She bent to pull the pan out of the oven, she hearing door open and then shut behind her, but didn't turn to look at him. As Penny placed the pan on the stovetop, she bumped her index finger against the hot metal, burning her skin. Finally turning, she looked at her empty apartment before glancing down at her finger. A tear rolled down her cheek, landing on the singed digit.

"Damn it," she whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

"Controversial voter registration org?" Penny asked, glancing over at Leonard.

He turned his head to the side, listening to the clue before answering, "Acorn."

Penny bent to fill in the blank squares. "Spelled like the nut, right?" He nodded wordlessly, still not looking away from his computer game. "How's your thing going?"

"Good," he answered distractedly. Penny stared at his head for several moments before rising off of the couch and coming to stand behind him.

"So, what exactly is the point of 'Second Life' again?" she asked, leaning over his shoulder. Leonard started, pausing his play.

"It's a way of interacting with people on any number of topics, such as business, friendship, or even battle." His tone was unsure as he turned his face upward toward her.

Penny chuckled. "Isn't that kinda like…life?"

"With flying," Leonard added. Penny arched an eyebrow at him before focusing on the screen in front of her.

"Who's that?" she asked, pointing at the avatar that Leonard Hoffnung was currently conversing with.

He quickly exited out of the window entirely and rose from his seat, hurrying toward the sofa. "It's not important. Let's finish the crossword puzzle together." He sat in the middle cushion and picked up the newspaper to study it.

"Seriously, who was the girl?" Penny asked from her spot next to his desk.

Leonard sighed. "Her name is Amanda."

"Oh." Penny looked at the computer screen, which no longer held her fake image. "She was kind of slutty, wasn't she?"

"She's nice," Leonard defended quickly. Penny narrowed her eyes at him and almost instantly Leonard recognized his mistake. "I mean, I guess. I don't know her or anything. " When Penny didn't respond, he continued on. "We sometimes just talk about-"

"There is really no way to dig yourself out of this," Penny answered in a clipped tone as she lowered herself to the left cushion. Sheldon's cushion.

"Okay," Leonard responded in a low voice. The uncomfortable silence stretched forward, and they simply each stared at the crossword puzzle that he held between them. The sound of footsteps coming toward them from the hallway caused Penny to start. She instantly stood awkwardly, but it wasn't fast enough.

He was already there, watching her indifferently. If Penny had thought it was uncomfortable a moment ago, now it was ten times worse. Sheldon just stood there, watching her in an unnerving fashion. Leonard, clearly unaware of the tension between his girlfriend and roommate, glanced up and asked, "What's up?"

Sheldon adjusted his messenger bag strap slightly before he replied. "Raj is picking me up to go to the comic book store." He walked past them, not bothering to give Penny another glance.

"Have fun," Leonard called out as the door shut behind Sheldon. Then he glanced up at Penny, who was still standing in front of the couch. "What are you doing?"

Penny furrowed her brow before looking down at her boyfriend. "He didn't mention anything about the fact that I was clearly just in his spot." Leonard pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Huh," he answered belatedly. Penny climbed over the arm of the chair before planting herself in a cross-legged position on the cushion. "Don't you think that's weird?" she asked, staring at the door in confusion.

"No," Leonard retorted in an exasperated tone. "But I'll tell you what's weirding me out is your obsession with Sheldon." Penny ignored him. "Seriously, stop caring."

"In case you haven't noticed, nobody else around here actually does care about him," she shot back, instantly regretting it.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he turned to face her. Penny clamped her mouth shut tightly to make what her sister had always lovingly referred to as her 'duck face'. "Penny? Seriously, what's going on with you guys?"

"I don't….know," she answered, her voice cracking. She felt Leonard's eyes on her as she worried her lip between her teeth.

"And you don't find that slightly strange?" he shot back flatly.

Penny swallowed and honestly looked at Leonard for what felt like the first time in weeks. "Something's not right."

"I'll say," he joked, glancing back down at the crossword puzzle.

"No," she replied as she shook her head. "Here," she supplied, gesturing at the tense air between them.

Leonard looked at her strangely for a moment before chuckling. "What?" When she didn't join in with his laughing, he fell silent. "With us? You've got to be kidding."

"It's just that-"

"I get it," he answered, getting off the couch. "You're just upset and taking it out on me. That's what girlfriends do. Or at least I think it is." He condescendingly patted her hair and then dropped a kiss on top of her head before walking into the kitchen. Penny sat there dumbly, unsure of what had just happened. "But seriously, just let this thing with Sheldon go."

The blonde glared at him before standing to join him in the couch. "Did you really just do that?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

Leonard raised his eyebrows at her before taking a swallow of his Diet Coke. "Sorry, but I don't really want to be dragged into whatever fight you're having with my roommate. He always wins."

"What if this isn't about him?" she shot back defensively. "Leonard, when was the last time we actually spent any time together?"

Leonard waved his arms. "What do you call this?" Penny frowned. "I mean, not this….but earlier." He gestured toward the couch.

"I call it the two of us sitting in a room together and completely ignoring each other." Leonard let loose a grim chuckle. "Leonard, the other night. When you were working late and Howard and I were playing 'Zelda'. You came in and kissed me, and….I hadn't even realized you were gone." He visibly stopped breathing. "I didn't think about you once. I was more focused on Wolowitz than on you."

"So, you were distracted," the bespeckled man reasoned. "It's understandable. 'Zelda' is intense."

"No, it's not." Penny sighed. He was going to side-step this entire conversation as well as he could. But now that she'd started, she was feeling strangely liberated. As if she'd been sleepwalking through her own relationship, her own life for weeks, and now she could see the road ahead of her. "Leonard, this isn't working."

"Okay, well let's talk about it," he answered. "This is good, we needed to have a first fight."

He was not getting it at all. "Do you really think that we're in a good, healthy relationship here?" He shrugged his shoulders limply. Penny exhaled a soft pained chortle. "If we were both as committed to this relationship as we should be, you wouldn't be hitting on random half-cat girl online." He sputtered a denial, unable to actually form real words. "And if we were truly invested here, don't you think I might be putting some effort into spending time with say, you rather than Sheldon?" Leonard sighed and rubbed his forehead. "He said that my identity was your girlfriend now, not even his neighbor." She was mumbling softly to herself now. "I've somehow lost myself in a relationship that isn't…what it should be."

"Sheldon is batshit crazy," Leonard said slowly, as if talking to a small child. "Why are you listening to him at all?"

"You know what?" Penny answered defensively. "He can put me down and ignore me and I can take it, because that's who he is." She advanced on her boyfriend slowly. "It's not that he necessarily means it. But he's never once been hypocritical toward me, which is not something I can say for you, my supposedly loving boyfriend."

"Oh crap, it's contagious, isn't it?" Leonard groaned. When Penny didn't crack a smile, he continued. "What are you talking about?"

Penny shrugged. "The fact that you date whoever you want and gawk all over any halfway decent looking girl who comes near you, but the second I have a date with another guy, you turn into a sullen baby."

"You belonged with me," Leonard answered softly. He raised an arm to comfort her, but stopped himself.

"And now that you've got me? Now what?" she asked. Neither said anything for several long minutes, instead staring at their shoes.

Leonard crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay, so what do you want, then? What? I mean, do you want to break up?"

She hadn't given it the smallest thought before the words were out of his mouth, knew that wasn't where this conversation was going. No, this was the guy she should be with, her brain told her so often. But somehow, her heart wasn't in sync with her decision. "Yeah," she croaked.

He stared at her incredulously before turning and marching off to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind himself. Penny glanced around the empty apartment forlornly before moving quickly toward the door and exiting. She had no way of knowing when the boys would be back, and she didn't want to be there when they returned.

As she closed her own door behind herself, Penny knew somewhere in the back of her mind that once again, Sheldon was right. Because she had no intention of going across the hall again.


	5. Chapter 5

She stared at her door, somehow hoping that if she looked long enough, something would happen.

So far, nothing had.

Penny looked around her apartment, hoping to find anything that might keep her from the task ahead of her. No, unfortunately she had gone on a cleaning spree the night before after returning from a tense shift at work. They'd been there. Of course they had. It was Tuesday night, after all. Howard had been the only one who said more than three words to her. Leonard was pouting, Sheldon was still barely acknowledging her existence, and Raj was sober. Wolowitz had invited her to his house this weekend for meatloaf and she'd distractedly said she would go.

That was when she'd known she had to snap out of this funk. She was single, this was what she had wanted, wasn't it? She'd lumbered home, ignoring the boisterous noises coming from 4A and had simply collapsed on her couch. Moments later, her phone had vibrated in her purse. She'd pulled it out to find a text from Sheldon.

_I'm always right._

Seething, she had erupted into a frenzy of cleaning energy, dusting and vacuuming and straightening every surface in the apartment. Of course he was right, but did he constantly feel the need to point it out?

Now she stood, still undecided in her living room before biting the bullet. She would show him who was right. Penny strode across the hall to knock once on the door to 4A before letting herself in. Four sets of eyes settled on her in silence. Sheldon visibly pressed the 'Pause' button.

"Hey guys," she started after taking a deep breath. "What's up?"

They all looked at each other, clearly having a silent conversation after years of practice. Finally, Howard turned toward her. "We're playing 'Halo'." He waited a moment before nodding. Penny sucked his lips in between her teeth for a moment before opening her mouth with a small 'pop'.

"Yeah, I can see that," she answered sardonically. She took a deep breath. There was still time to turn tail and run for it, and the boys wouldn't think anything of it, she was sure. Leonard looked at her and gave her a somewhat tight smile and she felt herself relax ever so slightly. "Um, I just…I wanted to remind you guys that you're invited over to my place tomorrow for Thanksgiving dinner." She nodded her head, to convince herself as much as to convince the four men who were currently looking at her as if she had spouted tentacles.

"Really?" Howard asked after a moment of silence.

She took another deep breath. "Yep," Penny replied.

The response was met with a spontaneous round of indifference. She didn't really expect better, though. They all looked at each other again, and the wordless conversation that was happening about her three feet from where she stood was unnerving to say the least. Finally, they all stopped and simultaneously looked at her again.

"That would be very nice, thank you." Surprisingly, it was coming from Leonard. He gave her the same tight smile and Penny returned it, albeit a little more naturally. He was clearly trying, and for that, Penny wanted to hug him. She knew she couldn't, however. It would just confuse things even more than they already were.

"Will you be serving cranberry jelly or cranberry sauce?" Sheldon asked, agitation in his voice.

Penny regarded him warily. It was the first time he had acknowledged her existence in some time, and she didn't want to spook him by picking a fight. "Um, would you like to make the cranberries? Then they'll be exactly the way you like them?" He looked startled and sat back on the couch. She had accidentally gone too far in the other direction. Being too nice was also something that was going to make him uneasy. "I mean, you're the only one who's going to be picky about it."

"You mean I'm the only one who has standards?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Penny chewed her lip to keep from smiling triumphantly.

"Howard? Can I tempt you away from Turbriskefil?" She waggled her eyebrows at him for a moment. Surprisingly, she had missed him the last week when she'd been avoiding all of them. Somehow, he was one she had been getting closer to. It turned out, he did have a sense of shame and being around her all the time helped desensitize himself to her, creating an environment where he wasn't constantly trying to figure out ways to sleep with her. Penny had been able to simply appreciated the nice guy that was buried under misguided bravado and brightly-colored dickies and a hairstyle that was four pounds too heavy.

"I will distract my mother with something shiny and sneak out," he answered, his voice lowering to a conspiratory murmur.

"Great," Penny responded. She cocked her head to the side. "Raj?"

The Indian man leaned toward Howard and whispered something in his ear. Howard rolled his eyes and turned toward Penny. "Will there be alcohol there?"

Penny grinned. "I wouldn't have it any other way, sweetie." Raj nodded his consent. Then the blonde turned her eyes toward Leonard. He was watching her, but looked away when her gaze fell on him.

"Vaccinium Ocycocco," Sheldon spoke up. Penny raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" she asked, chuckling uncomfortably.

"The common North American cranberry," he answered impatiently. Penny rubbed her temples. There was a good chance tomorrow would be the longest day of her life.

***

Penny poured herself a generous glass of wine and drank it halfway down at once. She knew it was probably in poor taste to be half in the bag before your guests even showed up, but she was making exceptions today.

She heard them long before they knocked on the door. The second the door to 4A opened, their voices started wafting toward her.

"No, we can't tell her she has to watch the parade instead of the pre-game," Leonard mumbled.

"I don't see why not," Sheldon whined.

"It's her home," Leonard answered.

"That's another thing," the tall man responded. "I don't see why we have to come over here."

"We were invited," Howard piped up.

"Yeah," Raj said. "She gets to make the rules."

"I don't like that idea," Sheldon argued.

"I'm shocked," Leonard deadpanned.

A moment later, there was a knock at her door. Penny flung it open with a bit too much flourish, causing all four men to collectively take a step back. "Hey guys," she greeted before stepping back to allow them in. They all stepped in tentatively, Leonard bringing up the rear. He gave her a small shy smile before hurrying to the couch and sitting.

"Where should I put the cranberry sauce?"

Penny turned toward Sheldon, who held a bowl to his chest. "So, you went with the sauce then?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes," he answered as he gazed down at the bowl. "It's my Meemaw's recipe."

"That's so cute," Penny replied before she could think about it. He quirked an eyebrow at her. She cleared her throat. "Um, so yeah. You can put it on the counter," she gestured toward her kitchen.

"So, when are we carving the turkey?" Howard asked, turning from his spot on the couch next to Leonard.

"Um….." Penny tucked her hair behind her ears. "I…decided not to cook turkey."

All movement stopped and four pairs of eyes found her, each with an expression of horror. "No turkey," Sheldon repeated, his voice going up an octave. "What are we eating?"

She narrowed her eyes and set her jaw. "Enchiladas?"

Sheldon stared at her blankly for a moment before letting out his high-pitched giggle. "You're joking."

"Well, I didn't want to make an entire turkey for just the five of us, and Leonard really liked my enchilada recipe."

"And did he tell you this when you were engaging in coitus on a regular basis?" Sheldon asked flatly.

Penny opened her mouth before turning toward her ex-boyfriend. "Were you lying?" She was trying to keep the hurt out of her voice, but knew it wasn't working.

"It wasn't lying," Leonard defended. "It was more….protecting your feelings?"

"That's irrational."

"I thought you might think so, Sheldon." Leonard frowned and turned back to face the television.

"Let me know when 'Hello Kitty' is on," Penny called out as she stepped over to her oven to check on the pan. When she rotated back, she noticed Sheldon still staring at her with an expression of disdain clear on his face. "Come on, Sheldon. It will be good."

"Yes, of course," he answered dryly. "I seem to remember when our forefathers landed on Plymouth Rock, they celebrated the first Thanksgiving by inviting the Native Americans to partake in a taco bar." He dropped his bowl on the counter with some force before landing in her chair. "This is going to suck."

Penny turned toward Raj, who was currently filling his glass with wine. "Raj sweetie, could you help me set the table?"

Raj smiled warmly and nodded. "What kind of enchiladas did you make?"

"Turkey," she answered, her voice taking on a 'duh' tone.

"Yes, that's much more traditional," Sheldon spit out.

Penny opened her mouth to answer him, but was cut off. "Hello Kitty! Hello Kitty!" She glanced at the television and felt placated by the sight of the large floating cat. She came into the living room and sat on the arm of the couch next to Howard. They all sat in silence for a moment.

"We can still go eat Turbriskefil if everyone wants," Howard suggested.

"What a decision," Sheldon remarked.

Penny took another gulp of wine and prayed for nightfall.

***

"-think he's doing so well because he dumped crazy Jessica Simpson," Penny noted as she raised her glass to take another drink. Sheldon gave her a lingering glance before responding.

"That is a popular opinion, yes. His interception percentage is at an all-time low."

She craned her neck to look up at him. "You know about football, huh?"

"I was raised in Texas," he answered by way of explanation. "It wasn't really a choice. My brother and father were very big fans, and tried to get me interested in it."

Penny tucked her legs under herself as she listened to his voice, causing her entire body to shift toward him. He smelled nice, like soap and mint. Not in an antiseptic way, like she often thought he would. She actually couldn't remember ever having smelled him before, and was thoroughly surprised at how pleasant she found it. She inhaled deeply.

"Are you sniffing me?" he asked, peering down at her prone form, still folded against him.

"Kinda," she answered before straightening back up and looking at him. He was watching her in a way that caused her stomach to squirm.

"Your inebriation level, that so many find endearing, is off-putting." He swallowed and looked back at the television screen.

"Have you had any fun today, Sheldon?" It came out in a sigh.

"You served us Mexican food," he started. "You and Leonard are for some reason trying to pretend you didn't crush him like a bug only a week ago. You allowed Raj to become drunk to the point of annoyance, and served Howard nuts without his knowledge. They all had to go to the emergency room to get him a shot of Epinephrine." He looked at her again. "Was I supposed to be having fun?"

Penny winced as all of this came at her. She rose and reached for the wine bottle to re-fill her glass. Once accomplished, she fell back to the couch cushion, collapsing against Sheldon's side. He sighed in irritation. "How many more glasses until you pass out?" he asked, looking down at her before shrugging his shoulder to encourage her to sit up. She chose to ignore him.

"Why do I make you so miserable?" she asked.

"I assume I don't have to actually give that a response," he answered flatly.

"Sheldon," Penny whined, laying her head against his shoulder.

"Penny," he replied. "When I was seven, my father caught fire while deep-frying our turkey in our driveway and had to spend three weeks in the burn unit at the hospital, and this is still the worst Thanksgiving I've ever had."

Penny gave a humorless chuckle. "Okay." She yawned and snuggled closer to him. "I still have 'Charlie Brown Thanksgiving' saved on my Tivo. You want to watch it?" She could feel his eyes regarding her.

"I suppose," he finally answered quietly. She allowed the smallest smile onto her lips before biting them in consternation. This really had been for all intents and purposes, a terrible day. Dinner had been burnt, Raj had been hitting on her constantly, Leonard had avoided her at all costs, and she'd sent Howard to the emergency room by not letting him know the chocolate cake she'd made for dessert had peanut butter in it. And of course, Sheldon had kept up a running commentary of each moment, not letting anything pass without mention. But astonishingly, none of that was currently bothering her. Sure, she felt terrible about Howard, and even Leonard to an extent. Overall however, she was feeling dangerously content.

"You smell good," she murmured as the opening of the cartoon played on the screen.

"I bathe on a regular basis," he retorted immediately. She laughed softly before pulling her head far enough away so she could look up at him.

"I know," she said. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, and Penny was moving toward him before she realized what she was doing. Her lips landed on his quickly. Sheldon turned to stone next to her, completely freezing in his spot and it was then that Penny's brain caught up with her mouth. She pulled away just as quickly as she'd leaned forward and covered her mouth with the hand that wasn't still clutching an empty wine glass.

Sheldon stared at her in abject horror for a moment before scurrying over the back of her couch simply to get away from her. "Why on Earth would you do that?" he asked, his voice trembling with anger and something else Penny couldn't place in her advanced state of insobriety.

She rose from her spot to face him as he backed toward her bedroom door. "I'm so, so sorry, Sheldon." Penny set her glass down next to the nearly empty bottle of wine and moved toward him. He crossed his arms defensively across his chest. "I'm…drunk and…." She had no words for what had caused her to do it, because she honestly didn't know what had caused the impulse. Her relationship with the physicist had always been strained at best, and outright adversarial at worst.

"I know your particular modus operandi is to become intoxicated and engage in carnal behavior with someone of the opposite sex, but I need to remind you that I am not Leonard and have no desire to be your proverbial boy toy." He raised his arms at the end, giving Penny the benefit of quotation marks he made with his fingers.

Penny dropped her head into her hands, pulling at her hair in frustration. Before she had the option of organizing her fuzzy thoughts into a coherent sentence, she heard footsteps on the stairs and brushed her hair back into place. The door opened seconds later, and Howard entered, followed closely by Raj and Leonard.

"Hey guys," she forced of cheerily. "Everything go okay?"

"Oh yeah," Howard assured her. "That happens a lot."

"I'm sorry," she added sincerely and touched Wolowitz's arm. He gave her a smile in response.

"It's okay, it wasn't the last time it will happen to me."

"So," Leonard asked, looking between Sheldon and Penny. "What did you guys do while we were gone?"

"We cleaned up the kitchen-" she answered quickly.

"-the football game," he responded at the same time. Their eyes met before Sheldon quickly looked down at his hideous giant shoes.

The other three could now sense the tension occurring between the tall man and the blonde. They all just stared at each other for several seconds of silence before Penny yawned loudly. "Well, I need to get up really early in the morning. Black Friday and everything." Penny stretched her arms above her head. "Double shift."

Raj looked at his watch dubiously. "It's seven o'clock."

"I think we should clear out and let Penny get her rest," Sheldon muttered quickly. He turned on his heel and walked out of the apartment without another glance at her. The other three stood their uncertainly.

"Uh, yeah. I guess," Leonard finally said with a nod. "Thanks for…everything."

"Yeah, it was great," Penny answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She moved forward and hugged him awkwardly.

"Dinner was delicious," Raj spoke up before taking her hand and kissing it.

"Do you want leftovers to take?" Penny offered, moving toward the fridge.

"No, that's okay." He quickly retreated to stand behind Leonard, clearly afraid of having to eat another bite of Penny's cooking. She turned toward the last of them.

"I'm sorry I almost killed you," she winced at him.

Howard gave her a real grin instead of a creepy leer. "Well, you just owe me one now I guess."

Penny gave him a one-armed hug. "Within reason," she added with a raised finger pointed at him.

With final waves goodbye, they all left, closing the door behind themselves. Penny stood and stared around her empty apartment and sighed before flipping the lights off and climbing back onto the couch to finish watching the holiday cartoon. She tried to focus on Linus and the ping-pong table and not the fact that before he had freaked out, Sheldon had actually maybe kissed her back.


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

Penny looked up from her cell phone and over at the other server and shrugged. "I'm kind of tired."

Jennifer smirked in return as she put table thirty-two's order on a tray. "You're always tired. Twenty years younger than me and no energy at all. What is wrong with you? Maybe you're dying." The older woman carefully grabbed butter pads and steak knives. "I saw this thing on 'Good Morning America' yesterday about-"

"Hey," Penny cut her off as she grabbed a tray jack. "I understand senility is a sign of old age and I usually try to just brush it off…" Jennifer flipped her off and Penny chuckled. They worked in tandem, delivering the meal to the seven-top. The blonde's eyes traveled over to an empty table with four chairs that would be inhabited by her neighbors any minute now. Her nerves had been building up toward this all day.

She hadn't seen Sheldon once since Thanksgiving, always apparently just missing him. It wasn't even a matter of him staying in his room to avoid her, as it had been before 'the incident'. No, he was instead basically living at the university again. Penny knew it was entirely her fault that he'd essentially disappeared from his own schedule. She felt badly about it, but the other three didn't seem to mind that he was absent, so she decided to stay silent on the matter. But it was Tuesday night, and he would absolutely be there. Penny was uneasy about how much better she felt with that reassurance in the back of her head. Somehow, she needed to be able to get back to the way it was before all of this had happened, and getting back onto speaking terms with Sheldon was top of that list.

"Hey Jenny," she started as they walked back to the kitchen together. "Can I ask your opinion on something?"

"Only do nudity if it's tasteful," the brunette answered instantly. "Otherwise, when you become famous they will play it on cable all the time and you'll never be able to live it down."

Penny stopped. "They don't show nudity on basic cable."

"By the time you get famous, they will," was the response she got. Glaring, Penny threw a lemon wedge at the other woman. "What did you need, honey?"

The younger woman sighed. "I…okay, you know Leonard?"

Jennifer clicked her teeth together. "Little guy with the coke bottles? Kinda squirrelly?"

"Yeah," Penny answered through a tightened jaw. "So, we broke up."

"When?" Jen asked, clearly unsurprised by this turn of events.

Penny crossed her arms over her chest. "Couple weeks ago."

"So, what's the question?"

"Okay, well…last week I kind of…." Penny bit her lower lip. "Kissed his best friend."

"Oh," Jen grinned. "The Native American one? He's a cutie!"

"He's Indian," Penny corrected automatically.

Jennifer stared at her blankly for a moment. "No, we call them Native American now."

"No," Penny chuckled. "I mean he's really Indian. From India." She started rolling clean silverware. "And either way, it's not him. It's …..Sheldon."

The other server stared at the floor, clearly trying to place the name. "Which one is that?" she finally asked.

"The tall one?" Penny answered unsurely.

"Spock?" Jen exclaimed. "I thought he was gay."

"No," Penny replied airily. "He's just never shown an inclination in any direction."

The older woman stopped in the middle of polishing spoons. "So, he doesn't have a penis?"

Penny brought her hand up to her forehead, feeling her cheeks get pink. "No, I assume he does have a penis."

"Who's junk are we talking about?" Alex, another server, asked as he stepped between them to grab a fork.

"Spock's," Jen answered.

Alex turned and looked at Penny in disgust. "Nimoy? Isn't he dead? That's sick."

"No, he's not dead." Jennifer said. "And not really the Vulcan. You know the tall peculiar guy, the one who-"

"Not barbeque bacon cheeseburger!" He spoke up. He was somehow even more horrified by the idea of talking about Sheldon's anatomy than that of the elderly actor's.

"Yes," Penny finally answered.

"What happened?" Alex asked Jennifer.

"Penny sucked face with Spock," she responded smoothly.

"Stop calling him that," Penny snapped.

Alex grinned. "And now you're defending him."

"It's actually kind of sweet," Jen reasoned to the other server as he dug into a large bowl of pasta that had been made by accident. He nodded in agreement as Penny picked up a fork and started eating as well.

"I hate you both," Penny noted. She sighed. "Trust me, it isn't like it sounds. There is no chance of it happening again." She quirked her lips to the side in thought. "I just don't know if I should tell Leonard that I accidentally…."

"Made out with his best friend?" Alex suggested around a mouthful of penne.

"Jen," the manager called as he opened the door. "Your five top needs their check."

"Yeah," she answered and made her way toward the swinging door. "Oh," she said quickly and let the door swing shut as she hurried over to Penny again. "I doubt this helps, but they just got sat." Penny felt something roll over in her stomach and tasted the bitter metal of adrenaline in her mouth in the next instant. Gently chiding herself at her sudden reversion to a teenager, Penny stepped through the door and let her eyes move to their table.

Where there was currently a vacant seat.

Howard, Raj and Leonard all looked up as she approached, smiles in place. Penny however, felt like she might throw up her Pasta Carbonera. She took a deep breath and consciously slowed her steps. "Hey guys," she greeted them breezily. "How's it going?"

"Good," Leonard answered quickly, a smile frozen on his face. There were about six elephants in the room to avoid, and Penny knew she'd have to stay on her toes in order to get through the rest of her shift with her sanity intact.

"Where's Sheldon?" she asked, her voice as neutral as she was capable of making it sound.

Howard looked up at her, shrugging. "I saw him for a second this morning, but since then…" He trailed off, glancing sideways at Raj. The astrophysicist shook his head. "Yeah, nothing."

"He's been kind of quiet for the last few days," Leonard supplied. He was studying the menu so carefully Penny assumed he would be quizzed on it later. "And I haven't seen him since we got to work this morning."

"Huh," Penny half-grunted in response as she tapped her pen restlessly against the order tablet. She wasn't sure why she had it out in the first place, since she knew their order by heart. The energy that was asking to be released from her body was just under the surface. She needed to take a lap around the block before even finishing her thought. She needed to get a hold on her emotions before she did something stupid and let on that whatever problem Sheldon seemed to be having with life in general was probably directly related to her molesting him.

"I'm going to go uh….get your order in," she said as she turned, not giving them the option of even deciding for themselves what they were going to eat. Once in the kitchen, Penny dropped her order pad on the counter next to the computer and strode toward the walk-in cooler.

She pulled the door shut behind her and paced the length twice before pulling out her cell phone and hitting speed dial six. It rang four times before sending her to voicemail. "This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I am unable to currently take your call. Leave a detailed message as to the reason for your call, and I will respond."

Penny rolled her eyes, remembering the withering look she'd given him as he'd recorded it. She waited for the digitized beep before taking a deep breath and letting out all of the emotions she'd been so carefully keeping in check for the last week.

"Are you kidding me? Could you possibly act human? You skip out on your own scheduled events just to avoid me?" She continued to pace, her shoes sliding on the wet floor tiles. "I promise I will be able to keep my hands off of you, okay? Just, get over yourself." She let out a long breath. "God!" she finally screamed into the mouthpiece before hanging up. Turning, Penny plucked an orange from an open box nearby and hurled it with all of her might at the wall of the cooler. It hit with a satisfying crack, splitting open down the center. It rebounded slightly before rolling out of sight. She felt some of the tension finally leave her shoulders and left the cooler as quickly as she'd entered.

Alex was standing just outside, staring at her strangely. "Just needed to go in their and scream?"

"And throw fruit," Penny added as she entered the boys' orders. She filled their glasses and, taking another deep breath, returned to their table. She set their drinks down with some severity, getting looks of confusion from each of them. She took a deep breath.

"You guys want to do something after I get off?" she asked, determined to take her mind off the wiry genius who had just caused her to lose her shit for no apparent reason.

"Uh, yeah." Leonard spoke slowly, unsurely. Penny smiled tightly in response. It would be slow, but they would get there eventually. "That might be fun." He pulled his vibrating cell phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen momentarily before flipping it open.

"What is it?" Howard asked when he saw the expression on Leonard's face.

"Um, it's a text from Sheldon." He glanced up at Penny. "' Tell everyone I've gone to Texas and won't be back until January.'" Leonard paused at looked over at the other two men.

"Well, that explains that." Howard leaned back in his chair.

"Not really," Penny answered angrily. "Why is he such a flake? Runs home to mommy every time life throws him a curve ball?"

Leonard frowned at her before holding up his cell phone for her to read.

"No. His Meemaw died."


	7. Chapter 7

Penny trudged up the stairs, yearning for her shower in a way she hadn't since her siblings had tied her down and covered her with mustard when she was six. Every part of her body was currently sore and yelling at her for even being upright. It was Saturday, for crying out loud. On Saturdays she slept until at least ten, and then made macaroni and cheese and had a 'Criminal Minds' marathon. She did not get up early to go shoot paintball with Wolowitz.

And yet….

Raj and Leonard moved soundlessly behind her. Leonard had been uncharacteristically quiet the whole morning. Koothrapali on the other hand, had been chatting her up since Penny had met them in the hallway earlier that day. Howard had quickly informed her that in honor of her joining them, Raj had washed his Eggos down with a screwdriver.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat lunch with us?" Leonard spoke up. "We have enough."

"Oh," Penny bit her lower lip. "No thanks." In truth, it wasn't so much that she was sick of them or even awkward around them. On the contrary, over the past couple days Penny had been feeling a legitimate kinship with her geeks. The four of them had been spending a lot of time together. But there was always the tiniest feeling that it still wasn't quite right.

She missed Sheldon.

Penny was still beating herself up for the horrible voicemail she'd left for him. The way she'd just snapped off her hinges and lashed out at him was undeserved, and she was constantly resisting the urge to call and apologize. Penny wasn't stupid. She knew his text to Leonard was in response to her tirade, his passive aggressive response to her. She also knew it wasn't fair to apologize to him only to alleviate her own guilt about the situation. He had his own problems, and had most likely not given it any more thought.

She'd sent him a text anyway. _I'm sorry_. And then had obsessively checked her phone every thirty seconds for the next two days, waiting for any sort of response. She'd gotten none. He had more important things to focus on than her own neuroses, Penny knew. Despite this, she'd physically stopped herself five times from calling him over the last couple of days. The day before, she'd gone so far as to turn the phone off and stick it between her couch cushions to avoid temptation.

She was definitely losing it. And over what?

Sheldon?

"Has anyone talked to Sheldon?" she asked, hoping she wasn't as transparent as she seemed.

"He left me a voicemail the other night reminding me to feed his fish and get the mail," Leonard supplied as they reached their floor.

"He sent me an e-mail yesterday letting me know I'd gotten another strike," Howard jumped in, shrugging his shoulders.

"What?" Penny asked. "What did you do from here?"

"I may have sent him the 'Chocolate Rain' video. Again." He didn't look slightly sorry.

"Howard, his grandmother just died," Penny noted reproachfully.

"I was trying to cheer him up," the engineer defended hastily. "Just thinking about that video cracks me up." His eyes moved upward and he chuckled to himself.

"When is the funeral?" the blonde asked, pulling her keys out of her bag.

"Monday," Raj answered quietly.

Penny turned to look at the three sheepish men. "What time are we flying out?" She swallowed hard over the lump in her throat. "We need to be there for him." They all shifted uncomfortably.

"Penny," Howard started. "Sheldon doesn't really like having people around."

"I….know," she finally agreed, feeling sick. "I just think …." She trailed off, not knowing the end of her sentence. They all watched her expectantly for several moments. Penny cleared her throat, and everyone shuffled their feet. "What are you guys getting him for Christmas?"

"You really never learn, do you?" Leonard asked with a grin.

"What do you mean?" Penny asked, cocking her head to the side.

"He doesn't want us to get him things," Raj piped up.

"Hey, my gift last year was very well received."

"I for one am not looking forward to another anxiety attack during a trip to 'Bath and Body Works'." Howard shot her a meaningful look. Penny nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Leonard asked her in a low voice.

"Uh, yeah." They turned in tandem and silently walked to her apartment, leaving the other two men alone with the bag of takeout. Penny waited for Leonard to step in before shutting the door and turning to him expectantly. "What's up?"

"I-hi, how are you?" Leonard seemed nervous, jumpy.

"Leonard, we just spent the last three hours together," Penny answered cautiously. "I'm fine, what's up?"

"I just um…." He adjusted his glasses slightly and ran a hand through his hair. "We've been having fun together, right?"

Oh.

"Sure," Penny answered lightly, smiling a little. "You guys are a lot of fun to hang out with."

"Yeah," Leonard responded anxiously. "Look Penny, I…I miss you." He took a step toward her. "I want to get back together."

No.

"Really?" she asked quietly. His eyebrows shoot up, hope apparent in his features.

Shit.

"Leonard," Penny began, knowing this was about to suck. "Look, I have been having a great time with you lately. And I love spending time with you guys, I really do." She tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear. "But I really don't think it's a good idea if we get back together."

"Oh." He looked down at his sneakers. "Is there… I mean, is there someone else?"

"No," Penny answered, and felt her stomach flip over. What the hell was going on here? She needed to get a grip. Thinking about apologizing to Sheldon for being crazy and hostile was a far cry from considering him a….someone else.

Wasn't it?

"Maybe," she amended a moment later and then slapped her own forehead.

"Who?"

"Sheldon."

Only for once, it wasn't just in her head. Penny belatedly covered her mouth with her hand, closing her eyes.

"Uh, what?" Leonard was looking at her as if she might be radioactive.

"No," Penny replied. "It's not like…I just…." She sighed, flopping down on her couch as Leonard continued to stare at her in a slightly horrified manner. "I have been thinking about him a lot," she finally admitted. "When he left, we…we weren't on very good terms."

"You guys haven't been on good terms since you moved in," Leonard cracked, sitting down next to her. "This is really, really weird."

"No, it's not…there's nothing…" Penny didn't know what to say, because she didn't know what was going on herself. More than likely, Sheldon had given no thought to any of it, which Penny knew was the right course of action. He'd shown her the tiniest crack in his full-body armor and what had she done? Obsessed over how to dig her fingers into the hole and pull him completely apart so she could see if the inside was filled with jelly or just wiring.

"Wow," Leonard intoned.

"Shut up," Penny smiled miserably. "I just….miss him? I think?" She craned her head toward him. "Could that be right?"

"Penny," Leonard announced. "I'm learning more and more with every passing second here that I might not know you at all." He smiled at her and the air between them calmed. He sighed. "You know there's a ninety-nine percent chance that he doesn't or is incapable of feeling anything for you, right?" Penny frowned. "I mean, I'm not trying to….I just…He's Sheldon, and even on the off-chance that he does care about you in some form, his ability to or likeliness of showing it is….." He trailed off, sighing again.

"Yeah," Penny agreed, nodding.

This was good. Penny had heard the term 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' before, but had never really experienced it so fully before. That's all this was anyway. He was gone and now she was only remembering the parts of him that didn't drive her completely nuts. He'd lent her money, that was nice of him. He always fixed her laptop when she accidentally deleted something important or somehow downloaded a virus while looking up pictures of David Duchovny. That was neighborly. He'd chosen to keep her as a friend over Raj and had taught her 'Conan' and had taken her underwear and hung it on a telephone wire and-

She was losing focus.

"Sheldon," Leonard finally said, shaking his head before giving her a look of pity. Penny rolled her eyes and punched him lightly in the shoulder as they both chuckled. She gave him a watery smile before grimacing. She dug a hand underneath herself and pulled out her cell phone. She stared at it blankly long enough that Leonard noticed. "What's wrong with it?"

Penny shook her head silently. "Nothing." She pressed the power button, making it chime happily at them. The phone showed her basic wallpaper for ten seconds before alerting her to a five new text messages. Ignoring the fact that her ex-boyfriend was sitting right next to her, Penny held her breath and opened her inbox. Three texts were from other servers at work, all letting her know how much their shifts had sucked. One was a forwarded dirty joke from her sister.

The last one was from him.

_Apology accepted. Please refrain from sitting in my spot. _

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"So, why ninety-nine percent?" Penny asked, laying her head back against the couch.

"Huh?"

"You said you were ninety-nine percent sure he couldn't care about me."

Leonard looked at her evenly for a moment. "He left quickly. I think he only took the shoes he was wearing. He left his notebooks and his Dictaphone."

"Okay?" Penny retorted leadingly.

"He took the napkin with him."


	8. Chapter 8

Penny looked up from her worn copy of 'Deathly Hallows' as her phone nearly vibrated off the end of her coffee table. She reached forward and retrieved it before it jittered its way to her carpet and looked at the Caller I.D before flipping it open.

"Hi, mom." Penny was already mentally preparing herself for the imminent guilt trip that was about to be laid on her.

"Hi, Penny. What are you up to?"

"Not much," the blonde answered, closing her book and tucking her legs underneath herself.

"I just got off the phone with your grandparents, and they're flying up on the eighteenth."

"Really?" Penny asked, surprised. Grandpa and Grandma hadn't left Florida since her brother graduated from high school three years ago.

"Yes, and they've asked if you're going to be coming home," her mother answered.

"Mom," Penny replied, gritting her teeth. "I can't just pick up and leave for two weeks. I have a job and… responsibilities."

Her mother chuckled on the other end. "I wish your father could hear you."

"Mom," the younger woman sighed.

"I know you're a big girl living in the city and can't be bothered to see us anymore, but…..we bought you a plane ticket for the twenty-second."

Penny paused before swallowing over the lump in her throat. "Thanks, mommy."

There was a long silence. "Penny, are you okay?"

"I…I don't know," she answered, her voice cracking.

She honestly didn't know, couldn't explain why she was sitting on her couch in the middle of the day, suddenly on the verge of crying on the phone to her mother. She'd been ever so slowly spiraling toward crazy for the last week, realizing her mistake every step of the way. There were only so many times Penny could second guess herself, question her own sanity before she knew it didn't really make a difference.

She was officially out of her mind.

"I just miss you guys," Penny finally continued, only partially lying. She did miss her family, talked to her siblings on a weekly basis even. But it wasn't the cause of her recent roller coaster of emotion.

He was.

It had started slowly. After he'd texted her back the previous week, Penny had taken to texting him occasionally throughout her day. Sometimes it would just be a comment on whatever heinous ensemble Howard was wearing, or sometimes it would be a running total of all the words Raj had said to her. She had somehow managed to never mention Leonard at all, afraid that she might let on that Leonard not only had asked to get back together, but now knew what Penny herself wasn't sure she knew.

This was why her head hurt.

"Penelope?"

"Why did you name me after the long-suffering wife? The one who patiently waited?" Penny asked suddenly. "You could have named me Clytemnestra." Penny sighed. "She's the skanky one who kills her husband, right?"

"Would we still be speaking if I'd named you Clytemnestra?" her mother shot back, laughter in her voice. Penny shrugged, forgetting her mother couldn't see her. "So, this is about a boy then?"

"Mom," the blonde answered. "How do you do that?"

"Who is he?" her mother asked, talking over her daughter.

Penny paused. "A figment of my imagination, probably."

Her phone vibrated in her hand, alerting her to a new text message. She pulled her hot phone away from her ear to glance at the screen.

_There are chickens all over the place down here._

Penny couldn't stop the grin from creeping onto her face. She immediately texted back.

_Brushing up on your tree-climbing skills?_

She got a response almost immediately.

_Wolowitz should not have told you about that. _

Her fingers flew over the keys with practiced ease.

_We don't have poultry running afowl ( hee) in Cali ;) You'd be safe here._

No, he wasn't Snuffleupagus after all. He was real and he…

Wasn't coming back to California until January. Penny deflated quickly. Belatedly, she put her phone back up to her ear.

"- and I started going back for every tiny glitch in that car after that. I couldn't stop myself."

"Yeah mom, I actually know how you met your husband. Thanks," she retorted dryly.

"So, this guy?" the older woman persisted nosily.

"Yeah, this guy," Penny echoed.

"What's he like?"

Penny frowned, thinking "He's…germaphobic, obsessive compulsive, awkward and…" Penny set her jaw. "And brilliant."

"You dating Monk?" her mother cracked.

"I'm not _dating_ anybody," Penny remarked quickly.

A knock at the door startled her and she glanced at the clock. Howard and Leonard were doing some research thing at the university that evening, and she'd invited Raj over to drink margaritas and watch old episodes of 'Lost'.

"Mom, I have to go, but I…I want to come home for Christmas."

"I'll drop the ticket in the mail tomorrow," her mother answered quickly. "Love you, kid."

"Love you, too." She hung up the phone and rose from the couch to answer the door. "Hey Raj." He waved his hand nervously before entering her apartment. "You got it?" He held up a full bottle of tequila.

"Let's do this."

***

"So, do you think Christian is really dead?" Penny asked, setting her now-empty glass on the table.

Raj thought for a moment and looked away from the television screen. "It's hard to say for sure. There are many who believe it is merely Jacob acting as Christian, much in the same way Locke was used." He swallowed the last of his drink. "Also, Damon Lindelof is a nutbar." Penny nodded her head and smiled at the astrophysicist. "What's so funny?" he asked, smiling warily at her.

"Nothing, it's just….this, um issue of yours? It's a mental thing, right? Like you don't have the confidence to do it on your own or something?"

Raj shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

Penny took a deep breath. "I…didn't open that tequila bottle."

"What to you mean?" Raj asked, his grin frozen on his face.

"These margaritas have been virgin," she further explained, arching her eyebrows. Raj squeaked and scooted away from her. "No, you can't…." He had a look of terror in his eyes. "You can't stop talking to me now, Raj." He shook his head. Penny shook her head. "No, I need to be able to talk to you. I have no one I can talk to."

"Is this about Sheldon?" he let out suddenly before slapping his hands over his mouth.

Penny's eyes went wide. How did everyone know this? She hadn't put on her sandwich board in days, so why was it that everybody she knew suddenly could read her like a book? "Whu?"

Raj looked down at his empty glass on the coffee table for a moment. "You shouldn't have tricked me, Penny," he remarked hesitantly.

"I know, sweetie." She rubbed his arm comfortingly. "I'm sorry. But I need you to be able to talk to me and be my friend even when you are sober occasionally. Look," she said as she gestured between them. "Nothing terrible has happened yet."

He looked at her, easing the tension in his shoulders. "You're right," he answered.

"See? Just think of me as one of guys from now on."

Raj shot her an incredulous look. "I don't think that will work."

Penny cocked her head to the side. "Yeah well, right now, my crazy mental problems trump yours, okay?" He gave her a small smile. "So, how did you know?"

"Leonard may have mentioned that he thought you had been tricked by Sybok." Penny shook her head, confused. "Evil mastermind from 'Final Frontier'," he finally supplied, a look of embarrassment on his face. "He sort of brainwashed….people."

"Of course," Penny added sarcastically.

"For the record," he continued, "I don't think your brain has been taken over." Penny's eyebrows rose. "It seems more like you're chasing." She rolled her eyes. "If you're hooked on heroin, you can tell us Penny."

"It's just that he's…gone." She threw her head back. "I know that once I see him again, I will be right back to being annoyed by him." She thought for a moment. "I'm almost sure about that."

"Wow," Raj noted after a moment. "This is kinda freaking me out."

"Freaking you out?" Penny answered, grinning. "Try being on this side of it."

They settled back against the couch as the next episode started. They watched silently for several minutes, side by side.

"So, what brought all of this on?" Raj finally asked. Penny reached toward the remote and hit the pause button.

"I've been trying to figure it out," Penny replied, sighing. "The thing is, ever since I moved in and Leonard developed that crush on me-"

"Dude, that was not just a crush. He's in love with you," Raj supplied.

Penny paused uncomfortably. "Okay. Well, anyway. Sheldon has been kind of…against the idea of me and Leonard from the beginning."

"Yes," Raj agreed. "Because he knew it would affect him. It's always all about him, Penny."

"But, when Leonard was dating Stephanie, Sheldon wanted them to stay together." She chewed her lower lip. "He even came around on the whole Leslie thing, but when I started dating Leonard, he was talking about us breaking up from the beginning."

"Yes," he answered.

"He basically told me that he and I couldn't be friends if I dated Leonard." She swallowed over the lump in her dry throat. "He said he didn't want to be my friend at all."

Raj let out a breath. "I thought something had happened. He got kind of weird….or, weirder."

"And then I kind of kissed him-"

"What?!" the Indian man squeaked.

"-and then….he left. And we haven't talked about it, and….and I miss him." Penny leaned forward and put her face in her hands. "I feel like I'm not in control of my own brain anymore."

"That's kind of what it sounds like, too."

Penny rubbed her hands over her forehead. "I think I need to make another batch of not-so-virgin margaritas."

"I'm up for that," Raj piped up quickly, seemingly happy to change the subject.

Penny rose from the couch and grabbed their empty glasses before approaching the kitchen counter. She'd just opened the tequila bottle when her phone buzzed once. Placing the bottle back on the counter, she picked her phone up off of the arm of the couch.

1 New TXT Message.

Holding her breath, Penny opened the text.

_It is completely understandable that you miss me so much. I've become an integral part of your life._

Penny gasped loudly, bringing her hand up to her mouth. Now he was reading her mind? She quickly went back to the last message she'd sent him.

_We don't have poultry running afowl ( hee) in Cali ;) You'd be safe here. _

She in fact had been telling him that she missed him and wanted him to come home, but had been sure he wouldn't be able to get that out of her message. But he had, and-

Her phone buzzed again.

_Tell Howard if he sends me the video of the baby dancing to that Beyonce song one more time, he will get an additional strike. It is also fair to say your sentiment is reciprocated. _

She could barely register most of the message, focusing on only the last four words. He missed her, too. Penny let out a shuddering breath and realized her hand was shaking. She felt something deep inside of her click into place and knew there was a call she needed to make.

Somehow, she had memorized the number over the past few weeks, and her fingers found the correct buttons deftly. It rang twice before it was answered.

"Howard, I need you to do something for me."


	9. Chapter 9

"Um, F……Eight."

Sheldon looked up from his board to the blonde seven year-old across the table from him. "You just randomly name letters and numbers, how do you keep doing so well?" The young boy opposite him merely shrugged. "Yes, hit," Sheldon finally conceded.

"Yes!" his nephew answered, pumping his fist in the air. "One more and I win."

"We shall see," Sheldon shot back menacingly. The child giggled in response.

"You're so weird, uncle Shelly."

"Mason!" a voice called from the kitchen. "Did you really leave the table without finishing your lunch?" The boy's eyes got comically large before he bolted toward the kitchen.

"Another victory," Sheldon noted to himself as he rose to his knees. He started pulling plastic ships from his board.

"And then you let your uncle clean up after you?" the same voice came from the doorway. Sheldon looked up at his sister-in-law, Rachel.

"I wasn't planning on cleaning up his pieces, only my own," he informed the blonde as she approached him.

She sat on the couch behind him. "Glad to hear it."

"How does he play so well?" Sheldon asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Well," Rachel answered, cocking her head to the side in thought. "He plays with his father a lot."

"I can understand how he could beat him, though."

Rachel leaned over so her forearms rested on her thighs. Her face was almost level with his now. "Also, he's seven, so it's possible he's cheating."

Sheldon nodded his head. "Ah, of course."

"Yes," the blonde replied. "He's a bit of an evil mastermind in training." She paused. "In that respect, he actually takes after his uncle." Sheldon smirked at this. "So, have you guys been…having fun?"

"He's an odd sort of child," Sheldon noted, "but not in an wholly unpleasant way." He looked at hands, clasped atop the coffee table. "I'm not really sure how to act around him."

"Well, you haven't seen him since he was three years old."

Sheldon wouldn't look at her, but could feel her eyes on him. "Has it been that long?" he finally asked.

"Your dad's funeral," she answered softly. Sheldon grimaced at this. "Shelly, it's…. Kids are resilient. Right now, you're his best friend. He's still young enough that you can leave and he'll forget." His mouth quirked up on one side and Rachel chuckled. "It's good you get a chance to learn this stuff now, before you get to be a dad yourself. Charlie was completely unprepared."

Sheldon furrowed his brow and turned his head to finally look at her. "What makes you think I have any intentions of procreating?"

"My gut," she answered, watching him carefully. Sheldon felt uncomfortable, like she could read his thoughts. He knew he'd been exceedingly careful over the last week or so. He kept his face as neutral as possible, calling her bluff. Finally she sighed, giving in.

"So, how much stuff is there still to go through at the house?" she asked, rising to pick up her son's 'Battleship' board.

"Not much," Sheldon responded as he watched her work. "Everybody's taken what they want I presume. Anything else will be put up on auction in the spring with the house." Rachel's eyes darted towards him. "What?"

She carefully lidded the box and sat back in the spot she'd just vacated. "Shelly, I wanted to talk to you about that."

"What is it?" turning his body toward her slightly.

"Well," she started awkwardly. "…I…" She trailed off.

"Rachel," Sheldon said, his voice low.

"I've been saving up some money," she stated, looking at him. Sheldon's eyebrows rose in surprise. "I… it's just that Charlie loves that house."

"Really?" Sheldon asked, still surprised. He'd had no idea. "So, what's the problem?"

"We, I mean I want to make an offer on the house before it goes up on auction," Rachel explained. "I don't have that much saved up, but….I want it to be a surprise to him."

Sheldon carefully rose to the cushion next to his sister-in-law. "Why are you telling me?" he asked, confused.

Rachel gave him a look. "You're the executor of the will, Shelly."

Sheldon waved his hand. "That's merely a formality."

"Formality or not, you're the one I need to ask," Rachel said, shrugging. She shook herself for a moment. "So, I've noticed you texting quite a bit the last few days."

"Yes," Sheldon responded coolly.

Rachel scooted herself closer to the tall man. "And you seem pretty happy when you get the texts."

"And?"

"And who's the girl?" the blonde grinned.

"What makes you think there's a girl?" he asked her robotically.

"Shelly, I am a married woman with two children. I know how this stuff works." She did in fact have a knowing look on her face that made Sheldon feel uneasy. "Who is she?"

Sheldon watched her for a few moments. "I don't know what you're talking about," he finally stated.

Rachel sighed. "Okay, be that way."

"Rachel," he said, turning his knees toward her. "That house is just as much mine as it is yours. The only reason there was talk of selling is because I thought no one was interested in it." He clasped his hands in his lap. "Simply stated, if you want the house, it's yours."

Rachel looked at him in shock. "Shelly, you're not serious."

"Of course I am," he answered in an offended tone.

"Don't you need to talk to everyone else before you make this kind of decision?" she asked quietly.

Sheldon frowned. "As you just pointed out, I'm the executor. Mom doesn't want the house, and neither do Missy or I. If you and Charlie want it, I see no reason you shouldn't have it."

The next thing he knew, Rachel had launched herself at him full force, throwing him back against the couch cushions. He very gingerly patted her back once before clearing his throat. She straightened up immediately before kissing him on the cheek.

"Thank you, Sheldon."

"Getting fresh with my wife, Shelly?" came a deep voice from behind them. The two turned in tandem to see the large frame of his older brother Charlie, lumbering into the living room.

"Hardly," Sheldon scoffed.

Rachel shot over the back of the couch and hugged him tightly. Charlie wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground. Sheldon felt something shift in his chest painfully as he watched them. He averted his eyes a moment later and rose from the couch to give them some privacy. One step outside of the kitchen., Sheldon paused. His mother and sister were clearly in the middle of a conversation.

"-and you know how he gets, mama."

He heard Mary sigh. "Yes, Missy. I know. But you have to take-"

"-take your time with Sheldon," Missy parroted. "I've been taking my whole life with him, you know." Sheldon dropped his hand from the door frame, listening intently. "Mama, you know as well as I do that the only person Shelly has _ever_ connected with has been Meemaw."

"I know, darlin'."

"And you know that he's watched her die for the last nine years," his sister continued. Sheldon felt dread fill his stomach,

"Melissa." Mary's voice was getting an edge to it.

"Mama, there's a chance he will never be able to care about anyone."

"Missy, he cares about us." Sheldon chanced a look around the door frame. They were both seated at the kitchen table. "He's just not good at showing people."

"Except for grandma," Missy included.

"Except for grandma," Mary echoed.

"He's…finally coming out of his shell with the kids and treating us like we're human. We can't make him stay here with us?" Missy asked quietly.

Mary sighed. "I have no idea how we would do that, sugar."

Just then, Charlie's daughter Madison came walking through the kitchen past the two women and paused when she met Sheldon in the doorway. She fidgeted for a moment before acknowledging him. "You want to play 'Heart and Soul'?" she asked quietly, not meeting his eye.

Sheldon swallowed and glanced over at his mother and sister before answering the young girl. "Alright."

He allowed the ten year-old to lead him to the family room where the old piano stood. Sheldon pulled out the bench and watched as the girl settled herself. "I want to be the top part," she informed him shyly.

"Okay," he responded before sitting carefully to her left on the bench. His placed his fingers on the cold keys before starting the song. He hadn't played the tune in fifteen years, but still somehow remembered every note. After a moment, he looked down to the right, watching as Maddy played with concentration. Her tongue slipped out between her lips as she stared the keys. Sheldon felt a smirk pulling at his lips as he watched his niece. They finished together with a flourish. The sound of applause made them each turn and look behind them. There stood the rest of the family, all having slipped into the room to watch the grown man and the young girl play together.

"Beautiful, kids," Mary announced, still clapping. Madison rose from the bench and curtsied before her father scooped her up in a bear hug. An instant later, Mason burst through the crowd and ran at Sheldon full speed. The young boy threw himself at Sheldon, who instinctively covered his genitals with one hand. Mason was hugging him around the waist.

The physicist looked to his brother for help. Charlie mimed picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. Sheldon mimicked what he saw and the boy, lighter than he looked was soon squealing in delight from somewhere behind Sheldon's shoulder blade. Dr. Cooper felt very aware of everyone's eyes on him. Despite this, he grinned at his brother.

"Shelly, you left your phone on the kitchen counter," Missy stated as she stepped forward to hand him his cell phone. "You got a new text message."

"From who?" Rachel piped up.

"Whom," Sheldon corrected, taking the phone from his sister.

"Penny," Missy responded to Rachel.

"Penny?" Mary spoke up. "Leonard's Penny?"

"She's not 'Leonard's Penny'," Sheldon muttered to his mother. "And you," he continued, turning his eyes to his sister, "had no right to look through my phone."

"So, Shelly stole his best friend's girl?" Charlie asked, chuckling.

Sheldon felt his cheeks pink up. He carefully placed Mason back on the floor. He was very conscious of his limbs and his facial expression and had no idea how to proceed. The concept that he would 'steal' Leonard's girlfriend was preposterous, but he knew there was little point in explaining that to his family.

He had been texting her quite a bit for the past week or so, but it was just that. She'd been crazy and irrational and flown off the handle in regard to what had happened on Thanksgiving. He'd been scared to respond to her directly, and had instead sent a message through Leonard. Since then it had seemed a natural part of his day, one he expected, even looked forward to. But he wasn't delusional enough to think it was anything more than that, especially to her. Penny's break up with Leonard had nothing to do with him, and thinking anything different was foolhardy to say the least.

Sheldon now knew the reasoning behind his anger toward Leonard and Penny's relationship might have been tainted with his own interest. He'd purposely pushed her away, tried to keep her at arm's length in order to protect his neuroses. He'd told her he didn't want to be her friend.

He knew he was happy every time his phone chirped at him, with a message letting him know that Captain Sweatpants had asked about him or that Alicia had taken to stomping around all the time just because he was no longer in the state and couldn't do anything about it. Delving into the why of it was a dangerous area though, and Sheldon was terrified of dwelling on it. Despite all of this, he had admitted something to himself.

He missed her. Terribly.

And the truth was, he was becoming ever so slowly sure that he maybe _didn't _want to be her friend.

Sheldon's stomach clenched painfully at this realization and a moment later he noticed everyone was still watching him. He flipped open his phone to read the text in question.

_Watching Charlie Brown Christmas. Wish you were here._

Why was she telling him about a Charlie Brown cartoon? He hadn't seen one of the television specials in years. At least not until…..

_Oh. _

He couldn't breath. He'd had enough anxiety attacks in his life to know what the onset of one felt like. She was…was she somehow referring to their…..kiss? Reminding him that they had kissed and then telling him she wanted him there?

With her?

He needed to sit.

"Shelly," Mary said in a concerned voice. "What's wrong?"

"Mom, I need the keys to the house. There's something I need."


	10. Chapter 10

"Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister," Penny recited along with the movie. She took a large swallow of hot chocolate laced with Butterscotch Scnapps and smacked her lips.

It really wasn't so terrible, all things considered. She still had all of her limbs. She didn't currently have a terribly disease. She was all in all, pretty good.

The oven beeped, letting her know it was pre-heated. She paused the DVD and rose to put the pan of sugar cookies in the oven. She set the timer and stood in the kitchen, deep in thought.

Well, she wasn't actually good, but maybe okay. It was blizzarding in Nebraska, and the Omaha airports were closed. So, Penny sat in her apartment alone on Christmas Eve, watching John McClain save the day once again. Penny had spent a good deal of time convincing herself that was the best thing that could have happened, given the situation. She wasn't feeling terribly festive anyway.

She'd made a mistake, Penny knew this. Somehow, she'd managed to scare Sheldon away from her, and he was already sixteen hundred miles away as it was. The moment she'd sent the text, she'd known it was a mistake. He of course hadn't answered, choosing for the first time in three weeks to ignore her.

Why had she done it? They'd found some strange middle ground, and within their parameters, it was okay to joke. He'd even told her a couple small details about his Meemaw. They'd used banter that to anyone else would be considered flirting. Not that Penny would have used that word if asked. He was just beginning to act like a real boy and she'd ruined it. Penny plopped down on the couch and was just about to play the movie when a sound stopped her dead.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

Her heart was in her throat. She was hallucinating. She had to be. There was no other explanation for hearing-

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

She climbed over the couch cushions as quickly as she could.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

Breathing heavily, Penny wrenched the door open.

He was here.

He'd come home.

Beaming, she rushed toward him. He flinched slightly, but enough for Penny to stop in her tracks and think better of the hug she'd been about to give him. Instead, she waved her arm near his shoulder before crossing both arms over her chest. He gave her a awkward, tight smile in return before looking down at his bag distractedly.

"You're here," she finally stated, chewing her lower lip.

"Yes," he answered. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"You…you want to come in?" Penny asked, jerking her head backwards toward her apartment.

His hands clasped ineffectually at the bag he had slung over his shoulder. "Alright," he agreed, following her into the apartment.

"I can't believe you're here," she noted, surprise evident in her voice.

Sheldon shrugged. "My work in Texas was done, and I was anxious to…." He purposely wouldn't meet here eye. "…get back home."

"Home," Penny echoed, nodding. She felt her face heating up and bit the inside of her cheek. She was acting ridiculous and needed to get a grip on herself. This was still Sheldon, after all. Any moment, he would start reciting the average annual rainfall in Utah or organizing her spice rack alphabetically. Looking down at herself, Penny cringed. She was wearing her flannel two-piece pajamas. The blue ones with the eggs and bacon on them. They made her feel like a five year-old, and was sure they made her look like one too. Yeah, that would do the trick. She rolled her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, placing his bag on the floor next to the couch. His eyes had apparently not left her as she'd been quietly spazzing. Great.

"Nothing," Penny lied. Nothing except he'd flown halfway across the country on Christmas Eve to see her and she didn't know what that actually meant because it was him.

Wait.

Christmas.

"I…um, have something for you," she'd said quietly before exiting into her bedroom. It lay on her dresser, still in the paper bag in which she'd acquired it. Penny picked it up and hurried back to the tall man, thinking the mass of butterflies in her stomach would actually cause her to take flight at any moment. "Here," she continued as she held the bag up. "I didn't get it wrapped yet. I didn't know I was going to be seeing you so soon. Happy Saturnalia." Her weight shifted from foot to foot nervously. She hoped she didn't throw up on him in the next moment.

"Penny, it's as if you haven't learned anything after last year," Sheldon scolded, although he didn't seem sincere.

"I know I liked the reaction I got," she answered truthfully and felt her cheeks grow warmer at the indiscernible look he gave her.

He tipped the bag over and the slim book slid out into his hands, still in it's protective plastic sleeve.

Flash 123, 'Flash of Two Worlds'.

It trembled in his hands, and she watched as he stared at it with an concentration she'd never seen from him before. They sat in silence for what could have been a full minute before she finally spoke.

"Sheldon? Are you okay?"

His head snapped up and his eyes met hers, vividly blue in their intensity. He simply stared at her for a moment. "How….?" he finally croaked out as he glanced back down at the comic book in his hands.

"I got it back from Howard," Penny replied, a mischievous grin taking over her face. "Beyond that, it's best not to ask."

"Penny," Sheldon said, his voice tremulous.

"Okay," Penny conceded with raised arms. "I had to agree to pretend to be his girlfriend for Hanukkah." She crossed her arms over her chest. "That's eight dinners with his mother," she finished pointedly.

"Penny," he repeated, his voice actually cracking this time. She swallowed over the hard dry lump in her throat and tried not to show that he was holding her psyche in his large capable hands. He opened his mouth, and then closed it. Tried again with no success. "Thank you," he finally managed with a tight smile before lovingly slipping the book back into the paper bag in which she'd given it to him.

Penny tried not to show her heartbreak, and knew he was oblivious enough to the human condition that she probably didn't even have to try to hide it at all. There was honestly no reason she should be surprised by this reaction at all, but it still hurt.

"Penny," he noted in a disappointed tone. She glanced at him to find him staring down at her doormat. "This is so disorganized." He bent to start lining her shoes up against her wall and Penny choked quietly.

Even when he was being _him…_

No, _because _he was being him.

The oven timer went off and Penny distractedly turned her back to him to pull the cookies out. The small sheet was full of reindeer and Santas, all blobby-looking and mostly not identifiable. She carefully scooped them off the pan and onto a cooling rack.

"Do you want a cookie?" Penny called out, still facing away from him.

"A reindeer, please." She turned to find him much closer than she expected.

"Done rearranging my life?" she smirked, nodding her head toward the perfectly straight lines of shoes by her door.

"For now," he answered as he pulled a cookie off the cooling rack. He met her gaze and Penny absent-mindedly dropped a cookie on the floor. "Has you kitchen floor ever been cleaned?"

"Not since the last time you snuck into my apartment and cleaned it," she shot back with a sarcastic grin as she stooped to pick the cookie up and throw it away. Stealing herself, she met his eye line. "So, couldn't stay away from California, huh?"

"I was getting homesick," Sheldon answered simply with a shrug.

Penny grabbed her own cookie and sauntered past him to the couch. "And your mother wouldn't sing 'Soft Kitty' to you?"

Sheldon frowned. "She told me I was too old to be sung to." He sat to the left of her on the couch.

"But you still asked her?" Penny grinned as she bit into her un-frosted Santa-blob.

"Well, it doesn't come across very well in text," he replied as he studied his cookie much more closely than he needed to.

"You okay with 'Die Hard'?" Penny asked him, choosing to side-step his comment entirely.

"Yes, but first…" He leaned over the arm of the couch and pulled something out of his bag. He handed it to her and Penny took it from his grasp blankly, depositing it in her own lap before she really had time to process what was happening. Penny found herself staring sedately at the wrapped gift he'd just handed her.

"What's this?" she asked, glancing up at him.

"If I remember correctly, this is the custom," Sheldon answered without missing a beat. "After receiving a gift, I am to return the gesture by giving you something." He stared at the gift in her lap pointedly.

Her eyes fell back to the package she was gripping. He'd gotten her a Christmas present. The wrapping paper, no doubt from his mother's collection, depicted baby Jesus surrounded by barnyard animals. The package was rectangular and had some weight to it.

Oh.

He'd bought her a book.

Well, it was a baby step at least.

Penny bit her lip nervously and glanced at him one more time before tearing into it. It was hardcover, bound in a deep blue leather. She looked up questioningly. He rolled his eyes before reaching over and flipping the cover open.

'The Odyssey'_._

_Oh. _

The book itself was clearly not new. "Where did…how did…?" All words died on Penny's tongue as her eyes caught the top of the opposite page. There, in perfect penmanship was a short inscription.

Property of Margaret Sullivan.

"Sheldon," Penny said, still staring at the book. "Who is Margaret Sullivan?"

Sheldon cleared his throat slightly. "That is my Meemaw." Penny gave a small nod, still not allowing herself to look at him. "It isn't an original translation, but it is supposedly rather good."

Truthfully, Penny hadn't really given any thought to the fact that Sheldon had just lost the person he cared for most in his life. She'd somehow selfishly only been thinking of herself, how his being in Texas affected her. Biting her lower lip, she grasped the book to her chest protectively. "Do you want to talk about her?"

Sheldon looked at her for a moment, thinking it over. "My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer the day after Missy graduated from high school," he started in a soft tone. "It was in her colon, and she wasn't supposed to make it a year." His mouth quirked. "I wanted to move back to Texas then, but Meemaw kept telling me that she wasn't going anywhere. She would…call me and ask me about my work." His eyes were downcast, staring at his hands gripping his knees.

Despite this, Penny ignored the wetness that was pooling in her eyes. "Did she understand it?"

Sheldon shrugged. "It didn't really seem to matter with Meemaw." His eyebrows furrowed in thought. "She's the only person who has…ever…understood me." He swallowed. "I'm highly evolved, as you know."

She was going to explode. She could feel it. Any moment now Penny was going to turn into a blubbering mass of girlishness and make him uncomfortable. "Sheldon," she whispered and finally made eye contact with him. He seemed fearful, as if she might at any moment reach across the couch and throttle him. "Thank you," she finally managed to get out after two failed attempts. The smallest smile appeared on his face.

"You appear to be pleased with it," he noted with question in his voice, his eyes moving toward the book she clutched to herself.

Penny wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye with her thumb and sniffled. "Yes, I like it."

"Well, it seemed pretty obvious you didn't know the story very well," Sheldon went on in a condescending tone. But the damage had already been done. Penny didn't have to suspect or guess any more.

She knew now that she loved him.

"You didn't even know I was going to get you something," Penny finally said when she found her voice again.

"No," Sheldon agreed. "But someone once told me that one of the ways we show we care about people is by putting thought and imagination into the gifts we give them." Penny's felt her lip quiver. "There's no need to get emotional. Penny, I have an Eidetic memory. It's not…."

"I might hug you now," Penny warned in a watery voice. She carefully placed the book on the coffee table.

"That's…unnecessary." Sheldon straightened up. She smiled at him widely and her heart fluttered in her chest when he returned it with his own nervous grin. Not allowing herself to think another second, Penny threw herself at him, sufficiently tackling him against the arm rest. She wound her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. His remained still for a moment, then tentatively let his hands rest on her back. Penny heard the small contented sigh, felt it vibrate through her ribcage, and couldn't be sure which one of them it came from.

Finally, she pulled away from Sheldon just enough to look at his face. His eyes were dark, clear. It took him several seconds before he would meet her gaze. Penny simply watched him, taking in every tiny detail of his features. He looked at her steadily, unyielding to the challenge she was silently giving him.

Then, Penny saw Sheldon's brain catch up with him. His right eye twitched so slightly that if she hadn't been eight inches from his face, she wouldn't have seen it. She knew the moment he switched himself off, closing the door on whatever had been about to happen. She blinked slowly before she awkwardly climbed off of him and back to her side of the small couch.

"Are we going to continue your movie?" he asked into the uncomfortable silence as he leaned forward to pick up his cookie again.

Penny looked over at him sadly. Any expression that had been there a minute ago was long gone. She sighed. "Yeah." She hit 'play' and the frozen scene sprang back into action.

"I wouldn't really consider this a Christmas movie Penny," Sheldon scoffed quietly. She glanced at him and he was looking at her with a combination of guilt and humility, two expressions she'd never seen on his face.

"There's the part where Bruce Willis dresses up that dead guy in the Santa hat," Penny suggested, relaxing ever so slightly. "Besides, Alan Rickman is the best thing that ever happened to Britain."

"My sister seems to find him highly attractive as well," Sheldon noted in a conversational tone.

Penny couldn't stifle the snort that came out of her at this.

"What?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

Penny stared at him wordlessly, shaking her head for a moment. "I…just…." She turned toward the television screen with a secret grin. "…nothing." They sat in silence, absorbed in the movie for several minutes.

"I'm glad to be home." Penny turned her head to look at him. He was watching her again. She swallowed.

"Me too," she said softly. He gave her that awkward, tight smile again before turning his full attention back to the screen. Penny let her eyes linger over his frame. Sheldon Cooper was sitting on her couch on Christmas Eve, quietly eating a cookie she'd just baked.

It suddenly felt like she already done the impossible.

Anything else would just have to wait.


	11. Chapter 11

"Have you fallen down and hit your head on something hard?"

Penny threw a look over her shoulder and Howard closed his mouth. "It's not a bad idea, guys."

"We're not saying it's a bad idea," Leonard started. "We're saying that getting Sheldon to agree to this is going to be….."

"Impossible," Howard supplied.

"You have a better chance of getting him to strip naked, lather himself in peanut butter and allow rabid dogs to lick it off of him," Raj added. Three startled pairs of eyes fell on him. "Well, maybe not that. But you get what we're saying."

Penny sighed. "Guys, it's New Year's. You really don't think he'll budge at all?"

Howard smiled at the other two men. "It's actually kind of sweet, how unwilling she is to give up on him."

"It's not sweet, it's stupid," Penny remarked with a roll of the eyes.

"If you want to try," Leonard shrugged, "go right ahead." As if on cue, the door to their apartment opened and Sheldon stepped into the hallway with the rest of them. They all stared at each other for a moment.

"Hello," he finally greeted them slowly.

"Hello," they all chorused back, somewhat brightly.

"You're up, kid." Howard clapped Penny on the back and she lurched forward, turning back to give him a dirty look.

"Hey, Sheldon." He seemed uneasy with her even speaking to him. He'd been skittish around her for the last week, neither actively avoiding her nor trying to converse with her in any way. He seemed almost shy now, and Penny was constantly telling herself not to get too excited about what his reasoning for this might be.

"Penny," he answered with a slight nod of the head.

She gave one more look at the other three men before turning back to the tallest. "Can I talk to you about something?"

He paused, his foot in mid-air for his trip downstairs. "I suppose," he replied before descending quickly. Penny followed, marching behind him.

"So," she started. "Here's the thing."

"Yes?" he asked without looking at her.

"You know Nicole in 4C?"

Sheldon stopped long enough to allow her to fall into step with him. "Does she own the hamster?"

"Yeah," Penny responded distractedly. "And the Johannsons in 4D?"

"Leonard stole their newspaper once three years ago, and ever since, they give me a dirty look when we pass in the hall."

"Okay, whatever." Penny ground her teeth momentarily. "Anyway, they're all out of town until next week, and the rest of us were talking-"

"-No."

"-about the possibility of-"

"No."

"-throwing a New Year's party?"

He stopped moving and waited for her to look at him. "No." He started moving again and Penny quickly bounded down to keep up with him.

"Come on, Sheldon. How often to I ask you for favors?" They had reached the lobby and she watched as he retrieved things from his mailbox.

"This isn't within the realm of favors that friends can ask of each other," he reasoned and Penny chose not to question him on his use of the term 'friend'.

"How about how you owe me from the time you stole my underwear and strung it up for the neighborhood to see it?" she countered, turning her face toward him as they started climbing the stairs once again.

"For which you called my mother," Sheldon shot back evenly. "If anyone here owes the other a favor, it's you owing me."

Penny scoffed loudly. "How do you figure that?"

"Do you remember the time I came home from your ex-boyfriend's apartment in my underpants?" He wouldn't meet her eye line, so Penny didn't have to worry about the smirk appeared on her face.

"Why Dr. Cooper, are you flirting with me?"

He blustered, clearly flummoxed with the turn the conversation had taken. His mouth opened wordlessly and then closed several times in succession. It gave him the appearance of a dying fish and Penny had to smother a giggle. The climbed up the last step together in silence to where Raj, Howard, and Leonard still stood, talking quietly. They all fell silent when Sheldon and Penny approached.

"Hey everybody, what do you think of throwing a crazy party on New Year's Eve?" Sheldon asked in an overly-bright tone. Giving Penny a meaningful glare, he disappeared into the apartment again. Penny waited until the door clicked closed before turning to the other three.

"You just gotta know which buttons to push when," she announced with a grin before flouncing into her own apartment.

***

"Can I get you a drink?"

Penny glanced up to the tall blonde by the makeshift bar who was currently smiling at her. She returned it with her own awkward grin. "No, thanks." She nodded her head at the man before beating a hasty retreat. If she was the type of girl who counted the number of men she turned down in an evening, she would be at six.

Luckily, she wasn't that type of girl.

Penny could have figured this kind of thing would happen tonight. She was dressed to kill, and she damn well knew it. Despite that, she thought she'd been giving off the fairly effective scent of 'Eau d' Get the Hell Away From Me' all evening.

"Hey," a voice said from behind her. Penny turned to take in Howard, Leonard and Raj lined up next to each other.

"Hi guys," she grinned. "You look great." For Christmas, Penny had bought them each a necktie, each with its own color and design. She was pleased to see them all hanging from her boys' necks.

"You think?" Howard asked as he played with the knot at his throat.

Penny smiled and reached out for it, tightening it slightly. "Definitely."

"How great are we talking?" Howard persisted. Penny tightened the tie further, causing Howard to choke. "Okay," he said in a strangled tone and stepped away from her.

"Has anyone seen Sheldon?" Penny asked as airily as she knew how. Judging from the smirks on all three of their faces, she didn't really pull it off.

"Why, are you looking for him so you can kiss him under the mistletoe?" Raj asked, waggling his eyebrows at the blonde.

"Shut up," Penny ground out, glaring at them evenly. She glanced around her to make sure no one she knew was within earshot. "Seriously guys, we're not going to talk about that any more."

"Talk about your heinously ill-advised crush on the Small Wonder?" Howard cracked, barely concealing his grin.

"What?" Penny asked, her brow furrowed in irritation.

"Oh," Leonard interjected. "He's referring to a short-lived television series from the eighties in which a family tried to pass off a robot as one of their children."

Penny set her jaw. "Of course," she answered, nodding sarcastically. She shook herself. "Look guys, I would appreciate it if my recent bout of-"

"-crazy?" Howard supplied.

"-…feelings," Penny finally answered pointedly, "could be kept under wraps."

"Why are we wrapping it?" Raj asked as he raised his beer bottle to his lips.

Penny sighed. "Because, he's not….ready yet." Howard snickered. "Shut up," she said again. "I'm serious, look….he doesn't…feel that way about me. Not now." Penny shrugged. "Maybe never, so it would be better if we dropped it, okay?"

Howard raised his eyebrow. "And what if I tell him you're in love with him?"

"Okay, first of all," Penny stepped forward quickly and twisted his nipple. "Secondly, if you so choose to do that, after giving Sheldon a ride to the hospital for the aneurism you'll cause him, I will castrate you." All three stepped backwards. "No, seriously," Penny eyes moved smoothly over each of them. "I will cut off your testacles, tie them together with yarn and hang them from my rear view mirror."

There was a beat of silence.

"So, don't tell him then?" Howard asked.

"Yeah, let's not," Penny answered, smiling sweetly. It was then that she saw him finally step into the living room. His eyes scanned the room, and instantly locked on hers. She smiled nervously and he returned it, wavering slightly. She watched as Leonard, Howard, and Raj all turned and looked in the direction she was currently smiling. "Shut up," she repeated as Sheldon approached.

"I didn't even say anything," Howard pointed out.

"Just covering my bases," Penny said under her breath. "Hey," she greeted Sheldon brightly.

"Hello," he answered flatly, lifting a chip from a communal bowl to inspect it.

They all stood awkwardly staring at each other, Penny not knowing what to say and Howard afraid of keeping his ability to procreate.

"Sheldon," Raj noted. "Doesn't Penny look nice this evening?" Penny could reach out and kill him with her bare hands. She felt Sheldon's eyes shift toward her and allowed herself to meet his gaze after a moment.

"I suppose," he answered with a shrug. "Does she look any differently than she always does?"

The truth was, Penny had spent almost two full hours getting ready for the party earlier. She'd gone through the long process of curling her hair and had arranged it around her shoulders in buttery waves. Her dress was a brand new one. A red satin number that fell to her knees in an A-line style and hooked behind her neck like a halter. It hit all of her curves, and she knew she looked damn good in it. Penny hadn't wanted to admit it as she was getting ready, but somewhere in the part of her brain that she didn't acknowledge, she knew she was dressing for him. She had of course missed her mark again, though. Because Sheldon clearly couldn't care if she was wearing a potato sack. It was one of the things she liked most about him honestly. Still, Penny wished she could be the one girl to make Dr. Cooper's eyes bug out of his head.

"No, she doesn't," Penny intoned, turning her back to him and mixing herself a drink. A man with a crew cut approached her almost instantly.

"Hi," he grinned, flashing his dimples at her. She swallowed and forced herself to smile at him benignly.

"Hi," she answered as she poured a liberal amount of vodka into a glass and added a splash of juice on top of it.

"I'm Adam," he announced loudly, trying to talk over the sound of the 'Space Odyssey' soundtrack playing on the stereo.

"Penny," she nodded taking a sip.

"Pardon my forwardness," he continued, leaning over the table toward her. "But you're gorgeous."

Penny lifted a hand to her chest and grinned at the man. Immediately, she felt guilt washing over her. As if she was doing anything wrong at all.

"Oh my God," she heard Leonard murmur behind her.

Then silence.

"Would you care to dance?" Adam asked her.

Penny nodded blankly at him for a moment before realizing what she was doing. "Um, no thanks." She smiled. "This doesn't really seem like dancing music."

"Okay," Adam nodded in defeat. "But I'm going to come ask you again when we finally get some R. Kelly playing here."

Raj squeaked. Penny brought one hand up to rub her forehead. "Sure," she answered. Adam winked at her and turned away, instantly zeroing in on a red head with giant breasts. When Penny turned around again, all four boys were frozen in place. Leonard, Raj and Howard all stared at Sheldon. Sheldon seemed to be staring at Penny's feet from the angle of his gaze. "What's going on, guys?"

"I was right in thinking this party was nothing more than one big mating ritual, set to bad techno music," Sheldon grumbled.

"This is your CD," Penny pointed out.

"Nevertheless," Sheldon stated, dropping his lone tortilla chip back to the table uneaten. "This was a waste of my time, I'll be spending the rest of the evening in my room. And no one is allowed in," he finished and turned on his heel. Penny watched with an open mouth as he worked his way through the crowd and out of sight.

"Of course," Penny said in a low tone as she reached up to pull a red Penny Blossom out of her hair. "That seems about right." She drank down half of her glass, wincing at the taste it left. "If you guys are looking for me, I'll be in the laundry room."

"What?" Howard asked, surprise in his voice. "Penny, I don't think you-"

"No, Howard." Leonard spoke up. "She wants to get away from the party and I don't blame her." Raj and Howard both shot Leonard looks and Leonard continued. "If she wants to leave, let her." He smiled at her. "I'm sorry this night didn't end up the way you wanted it to."

"Thanks," she said, quirking her mouth up on one side. It was all she could manage. "This entire thing was stupid. Like Sheldon could ever care about me." At least not in the way she needed him to. She always did this, set herself up for disappointment. She knew it was nobody's fault but her own. Penny couldn't expect Sheldon to change, didn't want him to change for her. She lo-

No.

She wasn't going to do this again.

It was a never-ending cycle.

She had to leave right now.

Tossing back the last of her screwdriver, Penny cleared her throat. "If I don't see you before, have a Happy New Year, guys." She reached forward and wrapped her arms around all three of them in one big group hug.

"Your luck might still turn around," Raj suggested softly in her ear. When Penny pulled away, she smiled at him.

"You guys are really great friends, you know that?" Leonard's smile seemed to be frozen on his face.

"No problem," he finally answered before turning and wandering toward the kitchen.

"Is something wrong?" Penny asked. Both Howard and Raj fidgeted nervously, shaking their heads.

Penny gave a backwards glance toward Sheldon's bedroom before wandering out of 4A, an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

****

"Get away from me you stupid orange ghost!" Penny growled at the screen. She mashed her thumbs against the tiny screen, successfully outrunning her enemies and swallowing the last pink dot. "Ha!" Penny thumped her heels against the dryer in triumph before continuing to the next level.

She'd been playing for roughly an hour, allowing herself to become consumed with the game rather than focusing on whatever problems she may or may not have. Penny glanced at her watch at saw that it was almost eleven. Sheldon no doubt was already in bed, hands over his ears trying to drown out all the noise the party was causing. Despite everything, the idea still brought a smile to Penny's face.

This was going to be such a problem.

Her phone vibrated next to her and Penny paused the game on her iPod. She checked the called ID.

Leonard was calling.

"Hey Leonard," Penny greeted blandly as she drew her hair over her shoulder.

"Penny," Leonard said on the other end. "Where are you?"

"I'm in the laundry room," Penny chuckled. It was clear Leonard had been drinking. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the party, you should come back!"

"No thanks," Penny answered. "But I appreciate you trying to cheer me up." She yawned. "You're a really good friend." And he was. It seemed like it had been ages since they had been a couple. They'd settled back into a friendship so easily she almost hadn't noticed.

"Penny," Leonard said in a low slurred tone. "I need to tell you something."

"Sweetie," Penny laughed at him. He sounded moments away from tossing his cookies. "If this is about clean up, don't worry. I'll come over tomorrow and help. I promise."

"It's not that," Leonard whined. "I just…I just need you to forgive me, Penny."

Penny winced. So maybe it hadn't been that long since they'd been a couple. Here was the drunken ex-boyfriend call she usually got around this time every New Year's. She honestly expected it would be Kurt, as it usually was. "Leonard, it's really okay. We don't have to do this."

"I'm sorry, I need you to know that," he mumbled.

"I do," Penny assured him.

"I really thought you were going through some sort of chemical imbalance," he continued, almost unintelligible now. "But then-"

Penny let the smile slide off of her face. He wasn't talking about her relationship with him, he was talking about her and Sheldon. "Leonard."

"No, listen." He was getting belligerent now, talking animatedly. "I saw it tonight. You were talking to that guy, and the way Sheldon was looking at you was…." He trailed off. "I didn't believe it before that. But he…loves you." He sounded miserable now. "Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought this was just some weird phase you were going through, and that we were going to eventually get back together." He took a deep breath. "Penny, I'm still in love with you."

Penny bit her lip, feeling sick to her stomach. "No, Leonard."

"I know that now," he explained in an offended tone. "You love him and he loves you and Leonard loses." He paused. "But he does love you and you need to know that, Penny. You deserve…" He trailed off and the call ended.

She pushed herself off of the dryer so fast so almost face planted into the floor. Righting herself, she took the stairs two at a time up to the fourth floor. The party was much more populated than when she left, and Penny sprinted past three co-workers without a word. Panting and shoeless, she tore through the crowd and toward Sheldon's bedroom. She found the door open.

And the room empty.

She visibly deflated and collapsed onto his still-made bed. She allowed herself to lay back and catch her breath. Penny curled onto her side and didn't try to stop the fluttering of her eyelids. For all she knew, she could have been their for hours.

"You're in my bedroom."

Penny opened her eyes, disoriented, and looked up at the obvious outline of Sheldon standing in the doorway of his room. The lack of light in the room made it impossible for her to see his face, but if she were to hazard a guess, she thought it would fall somewhere between 'annoyed' and 'flabbergasted'.

"Yeah," she answered as she climbed off of his bed.

"People can't be-"

"-in your bedroom," Penny finished somewhat wearily. "Yeah, I know." She crossed her arms over her chest awkwardly. "Can I talk to you?"

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Sheldon asked as he stepped into his room. He was dressed in what was clearly a new pair of pajamas. Bright blue pants adorned with the 'Superman' logo and a t-shirt that also held a large 'S' on it.

"New PJs?" she asked, ignoring his question.

Sheldon awkwardly looked down at his own form. "A Christmas gift from my sister," he agreed.

"Cute," Penny noted and watched Sheldon roll his eyes. "Look, I just needed to…" She glanced up at him before taking a deep shuddering breath.

"You seem unwell," Sheldon observed. "I would suggest you should turn in for the evening, but I have just come from your room, where it appears there are currently people having sex." His tone gave away his concern.

He'd gone to look for her. That had to me-

"There's people having sex in my bed?" Penny responded flatly, looking up at him. She frowned.

"There are," he corrected. There was a pause. "How many I couldn't tell you" he finally asked, clearly flummoxed. "It was dark in there."

Penny sighed. "Whatever."

"You should have put a sign on your bedroom door letting people know it was off limits," Sheldon suggested. "That's what I did."

"I didn't do that. You know why?" Penny slowly advanced on him, causing him to step backwards away from her. "Because it isn't in my nature to keep people at arm's length. I let people in, and maybe it's a problem. She slowed, taking her lower lip between her teeth. "But it's better than constantly pushing people away." Her voice was so small now, she doubted he could even hear her. She didn't know if she even wanted him to hear her.

"Where are your shoes?" He asked, ignoring her entirely.

Penny swallowed. "The laundry room."

Sheldon studied her in silence for a moment too long for Penny's comfort. "Why are they in the laundry room?"

It was now her turn to ignore him, because the answer to that question would just lead to more questions from him. "Sheldon." She cleared her throat. "I need to…" Penny shook her head and tried again. "Two months ago, you told me you didn't want to be my friend. That…sucked." She focused on his DNA model, lying on the floor. "And I didn't get why and it pissed me off and it made me sad and I didn't understand that either." She paused to breath. "I'm still not sure I do."

"Penny-"

"Don't talk," she cut in. He waited in silence, arms clasped behind his back. "I…I kissed you because I wanted to, Sheldon. Not because I was drunk or because I was lonely. I kissed you and you let me and then got all…_you_ about it." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "And you left and I missed you and talked myself out of going to Texas to be with you half a dozen times, because I know your Meemaw was that important to you and that makes this even more crazy because you're always going to be like…this," she said as she waved her arms in his direction. "You're unreachable and crazy and while you were gone I still made everyone eat Thai food on Mondays, which makes me crazy too." Penny paused. "And then you do things like come home on Christmas and bring me your grandmother's book and… and what am I supposed to do with that?" Penny let out a lungful of air.

"May I speak?" he asked in a timid voice. She nodded miserably. "Do you feel better now?" She nodded again. He smirked.

"I just needed to get that out," she answered flatly as she collapsed back onto his twin bed. She honestly wanted to punch him in the face right now, bruise him badly. He was making this way more work than he needed to, and he was possibly doing it on purpose. Penny threw caution to the wind. "I think you were right, Sheldon."

"I'm right a significant amount of time Penny," he replied quickly. "To which thing are you referring?"

"I don't think we should be friends." She cleared her throat. "You win. You always win." Penny shook her head, allowing a wry grin to creep onto her face. "Thanks for the Christmas gift," she said, her voice overly bright. She punched him lightly on the arm before attempting to sneak past him. And in response, Sheldon did what he did best.

He stood his ground.

"Did you finish the book?" he asked evenly.

"Sheldon I know you won't believe this, but I'm not a total idiot. I've read it before." She paused. "My mother is an English teacher?"

"I don't think you're an idiot," he responded promptly, frowning in the low light spilling in from the hallway.

"Yeah," Penny answered flatly.

"How does it end?"

Penny furrowed her brow in confusion. "How does what end?"

"The book," he replied, his voice uncharacteristically patient. "How does Penelope make out?"

"She spends her time making excuses and waiting around for the man she loves to…" Penny trailed off, glancing up at his contemplative face. She moved ever so slightly toward him and he didn't flinch. Penny met his eyes, held his terrified gaze steadfastly. She rose to the balls of her feet and placed her palms against the 'S' on his shirt before brushing her lips against his softly. Sheldon exhaled in surprise without moving a muscle. Penny noticed he also didn't push her away at all. She pulled away and looked at him.

"Odysseus is the one who comes to Penelope, you know," she announced with a grin. "Who's standing in whose bedroom?"

Sheldon furrowed his brow. "What did you think last week was pertaining to?"

The smallest squeak escaped Penny's lips before she could swallow it. She rose and drew her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her level. Before she could drop another kiss onto his lips, Sheldon pulled his head away. Penny rolled her eyes.

"As much as I appreciate your ability to retrieve my prized 'Flash' comic book, I feel I need to ask if Wolowitz and yourself engaged in any sort of physical activity." Penny's eye got large. "If you sucked face with that weasel, then I think it-" He couldn't finish his thought, because she had just covered his mouth with her own. This time, he at least acknowledged that she was attached to his lips, slowly moving his own against hers for a moment before breaking the kiss.

"Is this…." Penny tightened her jaw as she trailed off. "Is this anything?"

"Penny," Sheldon answered in a condescending tone. "Everything has to be something." After a moment, she saw a tiny smile creep onto his face.

"Do you do this on purpose?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

"Do what?" Sheldon asked, clearly confused.

"Drive me nuts."

"Of course not," he scoffed. "That's just an added bonus."

Penny tried to look at him sternly but failed. She flopped down on his bed and ignored his pout. "So, can we talk about this?"

"Talk about what?" he asked, frustration seeping into his voice.

"Us," she replied plainly, gesturing between them quickly.

"Oh." He thought for a moment before becoming startled. "Oh! Are we about to change our relationship paradigm? I can draw up a graph for you if that would be helpful." His eyebrows rose. Penny couldn't help the smile that overtook her. She grabbed his hand and kissed the palm quickly. Sheldon stilled.

"See?" Penny noted. "We need to have some sort of plan in place so when I do something like that, you don't turn to stone."

"So you're saying this paradigm shift will contain within it displays of affection?" He moved ever so slightly aware from her.

"Okay, could you not act like I'm about to rape you please?" Sheldon glared at her. "I'm not saying we need to have make-out sessions figured into your schedule."

"Good," Sheldon pointed out. "I don't know what color I would make them."

"But," Penny continued loudly. "It isn't out of the realm of possibility that I may want to touch you from time to time. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed slowly. "Am I supposed to touch you in return?"

"That's up to you, but I promise if you do I won't go all twitchy about it.

Sheldon shot her a look of sarcasm. "So, is there a title for this supposed shift?"

"Are you asking if you're my boyfriend?" Penny grinned, batting her eyelashes at him. He rolled his eyes at her.

"Of course not," Sheldon retorted. "I'm just uneasy with how to proceed." She stared at him. "What now?" he elaborated. Penny rolled her eyes.

"First, stop assuming I never know what you're talking about." Sheldon had the sense to look slightly chagrined. "I actually understand you a lot of the time, and when I don't, I'll tell you." She smiled at him. "And then you can explain it to me in the patronizing fashion you seem to enjoy so much."

"And you'll listen?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Maybe," Penny leaned over and kissed the corner of his mouth. He turned his head just enough so she was now kissing his lips full on. When she pulled away this time, he followed for a moment before allowing her to break apart. "That's better."

"What's better?" he asked cluelessly.

Penny shook her head. "Never mind."

"Oh, before I forget to inform you, tomorrow is omelet day and I was wondering if you would be joining us." He clasped his hands in his lap.

She stared at him blankly for a moment. "Leonard told you to invite me, right?"

Sheldon frowned. "No. Was he supposed to?"

Penny threw herself at him, planting a kiss on his mouth. His arms wound her waist and held her tentatively.

"No, it was always supposed to be you."


End file.
